Blogger Book Club: Summer Reading List

Do you remember when I tried to make that a thing? #bloggerbookclub Well, like many great (or not so great) blogging ideas, it didn't full pan out. And yet, I want to bring it back. Over the past few months, my conversations with bloggers have largely been following the theme, I don't read blogs any more. Instagram has "eaten our blogs" or at least become a much richer community with more immediate touch points and connections. But do you know what I am still reading? Books!

So here are the books sitting in front of me for hot, sticky, summer pleasure:

The Longest Ride - because my sister and I read all of Nicholas Sparks' books together. She is currently living over seas, so I need to read it quick and ship it off.

The Happiness Project - courtesy of this DC friend, can't wait to dive in.

The Boys in the Boat - historical fiction is my second favorite book genre.

Delancey - food, glorious food. And the PNW. What more could I ask for in a book?

Flight Behavior - best creative writing ever. If you need writing inspiration, pick up (or listen to) a Barbara Kingsolver book. I've been messaging this lady about this book all night and all day.

I am dying to know. Have you read these? What do you think? Which should I bring to the beach? And finally, what else are you reading? If you have written a similar post (because book lists are certainly not original) I would love for you to leave a link in the comments. My favorite books have been recommended by friends, especially this one.

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Reading, Eating, and Shauna Niequist

When a few friends here in DC emailed about a dinner party using Shauna's recipes from Bread and Wine, it was an immediate yes. I devoured Bread and Wine, reading it in a few short days and even blogged about it twice (here and here) for #bloggerbookclub. But I didn't realize until preparing for this dinner that I hadn't cooked most of the recipes. It was a delicious evening, with rich conversation. Its amazing what can happen when you gather six women around a table without their children. Falling just after the an IF: Table event, plus the content of Shauna's book led to plenty of conversation prompts, but as new and old friends, the topics flowed freely. As I wrote recently, I get into a non-productive rut of repeating the same few sentences over and over again. I think my favorite part of the evening was that conversation was so varied. along a wide range from genetic testing to what we say to our husbands before bed and oil pulling. The food was pretty good too!

We made:

Bacon Wrapped Dates, pg. 171

Brannon's Caesar Salad, pg. 227

Goat Cheese Biscuits, pg. 89

Maple Balsamic Pork Tenderloin, pg 216

Mango Chicken Curry, pg. 103

And for Dessert:

Breakfast Cookies, pg. 116

Simplest Dark Chocolate Mousse, pg. 247

Dark Chocolate Sea Salted Toffee, pg. 196

Have you read Shauna's book? Or perhaps some of her other books?

Do you have a favorite recipe?

And how do you get to deeper conversation with friends?

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Blogger Book Club: Beautiful Ruins

From the moment I picked up Beautiful Ruins, I couldn't put it down. This book was a bit more scandalous than what I would generally read, but Jess Walter writes so well. He has a true talent for weaving and interweaving story lines. I am hooked, the day I finished, I made a quick trip to the library for another one of his books, The Financial Lives of Poets.

But back to Beautiful Ruins. I really liked it. I started off taking great notes for book club, and then was swept away in the story, so here you have it. My thoughts, reactions and questions for you:

The beginning of the book makes a big to-do over Michael Deane's signed business cards, a free pass, if you will. Is there someone who you know who you could call if you ever need anything? I have a former boss that I still keep in touch with that is the pseudo Michael Deane in my life. If I ever needed to jump back into the working world, needed career advice, or had an idea that needed brainstorming, he would most likely be there to help. I also had a family I baby sat throughout high school and college. Any time I need money, they found an odd job or reason to hire me. Friends and connections like this have made a huge impact on me. I hope some day to be the Michael Deane in someone's life, minus the grotesque amount of plastic surgery and penchant for using people. 

Do you have dreams/ambitions for your town, a place you love, or your career? Do you find your self settling (like Claire) or continuing to press on amidst mockery (like Pasquale)?

Shane has and ACT tattoo, symbolizing the motto his dad gave him (which he originally thought was a bible verse). Do you have a verse or a life motto that propels your forward?

What is your initial reaction to Dee Moray?

There are so many individual story lines interwoven in this book. Which stories were you drawn to most? I found myself drawn to both Alvis Bender and Pasquale. I wanted them to be life long friends and reach their dreams. I also really wanted to hear more about Shane's pitch, Donner!

In the final chapter, the stories are all wrapped up - the main characters, Claire, Michael Deane, Pasquale, Debra Moore, Pat and Lydia as well as even minor characters. What surprised you the most in the end? I was shocked by how little Pasquale and Debra story lined was wrapped I kept flipping the final page, stunned that the book had actually ended. The other story lines all wrapped up well...I felt cheated out of reading about the time Pasquale and Debra spent together.  However, I was glad Walter introduced the story of the bunker painter.

Did you read Beautiful Ruins?

What have been your top reads this summer?

Will you also join us next month for Glennon Melton's book,
Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed?

#bloggerbookclub

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Bread & Wine {Second Half}

Welcome back to #bloggerbookclub where we chat about books we've read in the comment sections of the posts. This is not a book review - they are bits of a conversation that we would share if we were meeting in a coffee shop or living room across the table from each other. 

Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist

I said this was going to be posted on Friday, but really, my heart was not ready. It took me the whole weekend to muster the gumption to finish this blogger book club post.

Part Three:
This was hard. Life hitting me in the face, exposing my own weakness kind of hard. Being present over perfect. It is difficult to let go of perfect. Sometimes I act as if confessing after the fact makes it okay to be frazzled, yelling, or even down right mean to my family.

Shauna writes about her advice to a couple approaching their wedding day (pg 167) offering two tips to help them be "happy, connected, present, patient." Reading that felt like a sucker punch. I am not sure I am ever one of those things on a day to day basis with my kids, let alone all four. Again, the focus is on being present, not perfect. No one is expecting me to be happy, connected, present and patient with my kids all of the time. But it is certainly something to strive for, especially in moments like breakfast, post-nap snuggles, bath time -- times in the day when I should not be trying to accomplish something, just enjoying Behr and Hudson.

But this season I'm not trying for perfect. I'm just trying to show up, every time, with honesty and attentiveness

We have, each one of us, been entrusted with one life, made up of days and hours and minutes. We're spending them according to our values whether or not we admit it. pg. 169

Part three was full of additional things I loved reading, birthday traditions, scrambles eggs (why have I never thought of making these other than for breakfast!?), mexican vacations, and in the russian dolls chapter, I love how Shauna writes of our job as moms - the pull between wanting to keep them little and encouraging them to grow. (pg. 180) And then again in Part Four in the chapter about her brother Tom (pg. 235)

Part Four: 
I appreciated Shauna's view of church, which is very similar to what my current church's approach to Washington, DC. "The church is at its best, in my view, when it is more than a set of ideas and ideals, when it is a working, living, breathing, on-the-ground, in-the-mess force for good in our cities and towns." pg. 208 Does your church or community have events like the cooking club yard sale? Do you volunteer somewhere?

Have you ever heard of a wedding caterer sending the bride and groom off with pans of food? (pg. 221) Brilliant!

Swimsuit, Ready or Not, was a chapter I desperately needed to read.

I want to grab coffee with Shauna (or re-read Pont Neuf) if I ever am planning a trip to Paris.

I resonated with her feelings that she is not a baker. Are you a baker? What are your favorite dishes to cook?

And finally, Come To The Table. "I want you to stop running from thing to thing to thing, and to sit down at the table, to offer people you love something humbling and nourishing, like soup and bread, like a story, like a hand holding another hand while you pray." pg. 257 Last night I seized this idea and roasted some potatoes - quick and simple - and served them along side cheese, olives, and random dipping sauces we had in our fridge. Behr and I turned off most of the lights and started some music. Both kids were awake and with us, but it really felt like we were on a date. There was no rushing around, very little mess to clean up. Mostly we just sat and talked about our upcoming vacation, our plans for it and our hopes. It was peaceful and refreshing. It also gave me the courage to finish this two part post, because I finally felt pressent in a way that had mostly been missing since Hudson was born.

What are your thoughts on Bread & Wine?

#bloggerbookclub

Blogger Book Club Bread & Wine {first half}

Welcome back to #bloggerbookclub where we chat about books we've read in the comment sections of the posts. This is not a book review - they are bits of a conversation that we would share if we were meeting in a coffee shop or living room across the table from each other. 

Bread & Wine by Shauna Niequist

I don't know about you, but I have never read any of Shauna's books before. Bread & Wine was a delight, the perfect book to get back into the swing of reading post-baby (I mean, there is a recipe at the end of nearly every chapter!) When I announced this as my next #bloggerbookclub book, a friend asked, isn't that a cookbook? Well, yes, but so much more. And let's be honest, even if it was just a cookbook, it might still have been the first book I read since Hudson was born. While the food sounds delicious, it is the raw emotion Shauna shares that continually had me nodding my head and thanking her as if she were sitting at a bistro table with me. For fear of this post getting out of control, I am only going to touch the first half of her book here today, the second half will be on Friday.

Shauna describes her life, her heart, her soul and how it is connected to spending time with people, preparing food, eating with them, and sharing the deepest parts of her heart with her family and friends around a table. The way she describes certain moments - well, I felt like I was experiencing them with her, firsthand. She writes with such poignancy and such depth about her life's real moments.

Author's Note & Introduction: Shauna's prayer for this book is that we too can foster community and family over our dinner tables. I love how she writes "you'll gather people you love around your table...to be heard and fed and nourished." pg. 10 Throughout the book, Shauna shares the core of developing deepening relationships with family, friends, community, and God; how meeting people where they are and spending time together over a meal can become a spiritual encounter. This made me itch in the best possible way. I mentally began planning meals with friends, invite lists in my head, from the very beginning of the book. What a beautiful reminder that the dishes and the laundry and the tantrums don't matter; that I am happiest when our house is full. The idea of serving people at the table, it is life-giving.

Part One:

Shauna writes of her mom being healthy before it was trendy (and she has already confessed to loving processed cheese). This is my kind of girl! With so many fad diets and people newly becoming free of this that and the other thing, it was interesting to read the lengths at which Shauna's mom went, even while living modestly. Eating healthy isn't cheap, but doesn't have to break the bank.

Blueberries. Obviously we are kindred spirits.

Community, "your tribe" (the same verbiage as Bloom)
"It doesn't take a decade and it doesn't take three times a week." pg. 31

Start Where You Are: Where are you at on the cooking spectrum of freezer aisle to scratch chef? What are your traditions? Where are you in this journey? What are your favorite cookbooks? (and do you read them in bed?!)

Go-To Risotto: Can I confess I've never made a risotto. I am not a baker. My cooking tends to be a mishmash of ingredients haphazardly following a recipe, with continual adjustments. Risotto seems like the perfect dish for me. I have never been more grateful for a cooking description than "sinkholes" pg. 44. Do you make risotto? What is your favorite recipe?

On Tea and Pajamas: Shauna writes, "What I really want more than food is an external voice to say, 'You've done enough. It is OK to be tired.' The work I'm doing now is to let those words fall deeply on me." pg. 71 This is where I am right now. Desperately in need of being told that I can rest, that I should rest. That the work will wait.

I can't talk about this book with out mentioning the ever pressent journey of motherhood - the struggles of loss and difficulty. I can hardly count the number of women for whom I pray healing in this area. Prayers, upon prayers, upon prayers for children, and healing, and recovering. I cannot pretend to know what that journey of womanhood is like, so I won't. I hope that I can be the friend showing up with safety goggles. (referencing pg. 57)

Part Two:

Jazz and Curry: The three time plan to cooking feels liberating. "Recipes are the scales, the training wheels, the paint bu numbers that lead us to jazz, two-wheel riding, and our very own blank canvas." pg. 101 Shauna mentions her go to Mango Curry (and later on White Chicken Chili) as her meal staples - the items she cooks again and again. What are your go to meals? Do you have a default recipe that you turn to when company springs up?

Open the Door: It was so encouraging to read about Shauna's first home, hosting parties in unlikely corners of her house because that was the only way to fit everyone in. Mark and I have always living in a few hundred square feet, I am not sure any of our apartments have topped a thousand. Most of our apartments could fit inside many of our friend's kitchens. In spite of these space constraints, we have hosted our alma mater lacrosse teams when they were playing nearby, countless DC interns every new semester, and friends visiting, willing to sleep toe to toe just to fit. In fact, we have people over so frequently amidst the mess and chaos that recently a friend exclaimed, "Wow, your house looks so clean." after I had reorganized a bit. Yikes! Me not looking presentable is a greater barrier than my house being messy. What hinders you from opening your door?

Baking Cookies with Batman: Do you bake with your kids? Or cook with your parents growing up? I most remember cooking with my Yia-yia and my sister Julia, even though I know I cooked with my mom almost every day.

Morning, Noon, and Night: Shauna's description of her nausea while pregnant made me think she was writing about my pregnancies. I especially enjoyed the way Henry supported her, Behr cheered for me. It was kind and funny and also depressing. I'll spare you the details. She also confesses her difficulty in accepting help. "I'm a get-stuff-done person. I'm a utility player, a workhorse." pg. 119 Again, I felt like Shauna was talking directly to me. I am a the utility player she talks about. I have been a bridesmaid only twice, most of the time a friend tells me they are getting married and asks if I can be their coordination person the day of. I don't think I have ever gone to a wedding without a laundry list of tasks. That is who I am, but it is not the only thing I have to be. "I've long wanted to be better at accepting help, better at admitting weakness, better at trusting that people love me not for what I can do but just because they do." pg. 120

Cupcake in the Oven: This is the point in the book in which the sobs began. The raw emotion of Kristi's story got me. Cancer always does. A family member (who prefers not to talk about it) fought cancer for years of my childhood - they have been in remission long enough to be "cured" but I know those cancer cells are still inside them. It is terrifying. The list of ties and stories in my own life go on. A friend who shared this last pregnancy, even being due on the same day, lost her father right before our kids were born. My grandfather passed away the day after we found out we were pregnant with Behr. One of my closest family members passed away before meeting either of my children. The emotions of Kristi's story brought out the ugly cry.

Feasting and Fasting: I love her approach to eating here. It is like everything in moderation, but better. Do you relate to having times/seasons for feasting and fasting?

Baby Mac: The arrival of Mac concludes part two of the book and the first half of book club. We can talk more about the book (and Mac of course) on Friday.

I love to hear your thoughts, emotions, reactions to this book as well as some of the questions I asked. Feel free to share your favorite recipes or parts of the first half of the book that I didn't mention here. And if you want to receive the discussion via email, make sure to hit "subscribe to comments" when you leave yours. This will allow you to receive the comments emailed, but for this specific post, not my whole blog.

Read Part Two Here

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Blogger Book Club: The Book Thief

Welcome to Blogger Book Club, where we gather in conversation over the blogger comment section on the last Tuesday of each month. Feel free to write your own reviews and share them in the comment section each month. Tip: to stay engaged in the conversation, be sure to subscribe by email to the comments!

This book is a fantastic read. Here are some of the points that stuck with me

Liesel's brother's death seems to have sparked her love for books. Can you imagine falling into reading over a Gravedigger's guide? When did you fall in love with books? Was there a particularly book that shifted you towards becoming a reader?

Max seems to fill a void in Liesel's life. I went back and forth over whether Max became a surrogate brother for her, or helped fill the void of love in her life. What role do you think Max played for Liesel?

The Mayor's decision to no longer pay for their laundry to be done seemed akin to similar decisions being made in Washington. With the sequester upon us, silly things like Story Time at the Library of Congress and White House tours are being canceled. But like no longer paying for laundry, these seem to be appearance based actions, not significant changes.

The lists throughout the book are such a natural insertion of details. From Rudy's foolish acts, Liesel's gifts for Max, and even Max's dreams, the lists efficiently round out character depictions. It feels natural for their to be lists, like human nature. Are you a list makers? What lists do you currently have running in your life?

The book is narrated by Death. It wasn't until the Narrator says he had visited their home on 33 Himmel Street, that I realized the role of the narrator. Did you realize this? Have you ever read a book narrated by death?

This book presents a very different perspective to WWII and the Holocaust than the books I read in school, and since then. How do you think this book differs from The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, Night by Elie Wiesel, and others?

What points struck you as your read this book?

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A few other thoughts:

Pregnancy exhaustion and insomnia had me thinking I would not make it through this book. And then I discovered audible. I have had the app for months, but never used it. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this book. Do you listed to books on audio? It might be my new favorite thing!

Stay tuned to our Blogger Book Club page for updates about our next book selections. For April, we are spinning things a bit and sharing about our favorite e-books. Be sure to come ready to share yours!

p.s. I'm still taking book suggestions.

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Blogger Book Club: Unbroken

(or the first Tuesday of the month. sorry.)

Character Development - The first thing I realized what the incredible character development from the very beginning of the book. I felt like Phil was engages to my friend and Mrs. Zamperini would great me with a hug because we have joined each other for dinner many times over the years!

History - as a history nerd (after watching Lincoln, I tweeted that I wished I had brought a notebook along!) this book sang to my soul. I did not expect the detail of history to be so well interwoven throughout the storyline, from Olympic training to the detail of US bombers and the extreme circumstances endured by our nation's POWs.

Faith & Dignity - the strength of both of these throughout the book takes an inspirational story and makes it ever more personal.

This post has been so hard to write, because I have a million favorite parts, quotes worth discussing and could basically tell the whole story over, again and again. This book is well suited for an inperson book club and has made me wonder whether or not this virtual book club will ever bring readers the same sense of connection to the story, characters, and each other. (but don't worry, together we will press on!)

So instead of listing all of my favorites, here are a few questions for you:

What surprised you most about the book?

Had you heard parts of Louie's story before? Did you know he survived before you picked up the book? 

(I had not, and did not know his fate, which probably had me reading even faster!)

Did this story prompt you to understand more about World War II or more recent wars?

The primary criticism of this book is that it did not dive into the psychological aspects of returning from war. Do you agree with this criticism?

Have you recommended this book to friends?

Side note question: for those of you who read on a kindle (or other e-reader) do you find you read faster or slower? And do you have a harder time recalling the book? I am relatively new to the kindle and miss my dog-eared corners and pencil notes in margins.


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Join the discussion in the comments.
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Blogger Book Club: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Welcome to the first Blogger Book Club of 2013!

Confession: I had never heard of Mindy Kaling before reading this book. I don't watch the office. I didn't even realize she had her own show. That being said, her book is freaking hilarious! So even if you don't know who she is, read it. 



Here are a few of my favorite parts:

The intro Q&A was the perfect primer for a Mindy newbie like me. Thank you Mindy! For those of you who have always loved her, was there anything new in the intro?

I appreciate the way Mindy embraced her figure. The Duante stories were horrifying. And yet, so relatable. Did anyone really survive middle or high school unharmed?

Her dad's line, "What are you doing? Open your eyes!" when he was teaching her to ride a bike is priceless. I loved that the same thing needs to be shouted at me again and again as I take new risks in life. Good ole' Mindy, always with a metaphor up her sleeve. (even if it was completely unintentional).

Climbing back down the ladder at Morses Pond, again laughing out loud. Not at Mindy, but about how I have so been there. How is she so stinking relatable?

Don't Peak in High School:
I want Mindy to write a high school graduation address like Baz Luhrmann's "Wear Sunscreen" except maybe deliver it to freshman the night before their first day of high school. I love that she calls out "Mr. Cougar Melloncamp."

I cheered when Mindy decided to be better friends with Mavis. "One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about." Yes Mindy, yes!

Skipping ahead to Matt & Ben & Mindy & Brenda. Mindy broke Brenda's nose! Oh my goodness. I actually broke my best friend Gloria's jaw in college. I didn't know other people did things like that. I feel so much less awkward about life. Mindy and I should be BFF now, right? Have you ever broken someone else's bone?

Shooting the Mindy & Brenda script: "I believe they were fashion bloggers who worked at a cupcake bakery and were constantly referring to their iPods (This was 2004, when iPods were the white-hot reference.)" So here we are in 2013 and it doesn't actually seem like things have changed all that much...

Why does loving romantic comedies = the admission of mild stupidity? Disagree Mindy, disagree. But I am glad you fessed up to loving them yourself. What are some of your favorite romantic comedies?

Mindy's take on the film representation of the career woman has me eating out of the palm of her hands. Every book I read that referes to career women and/or working moms in even the most remote way hooks me. It is my place in life so I gravitate towards it. How about you? Do you fit the film version, "barking orders into your hands-free phone devices and telling people constantly, I have no time for this!" Or are you like Mindy?

I found the differences between Kelly and Mindy really intriguing. But to be honest, I didn't know there was a character on the show named Kelly. Blaspheme, right?

The Mindy Greg dynamic was fascinating. Especially when she "got kicked out" of work but didn't think of it as being fired.

Franchises Mindy would like to "reboot." A League of Their Own, The Hulk, Oceans Five, Van Helsing, Ghostbusters. Do you agree? What would you reboot?



And, now that this might be the longest book recap ever, I am going to stop and admit that I didn't quite finish the book. But I hope to finish reading before this goes live so I can contribue on the last third in the comment section.  p.s. I also know that this book gets compared to Bossypants a bit. Even though my Dad grew up in the same small Greek community as Tina Fey (yes, really), I don't really follow her nor have I read her book.



Tip:  By subscribing to comments (little button under the post box) you will receive the comments from this post only in your inbox and know when others have replied to you. 

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Read more about Blogger Book Club and join us next month for Unbroken

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Blogger Book Club 2013

Welcome to Blogger Book Club 2013!

Blogger book club started between two bloggers, last summer, over email when we were encouraging each other (mostly me) to start taking time to read again. We picked up Bloom, exchanged incredible emails at all hours of the night, and decided to open up the conversation to the rest of our friends online. After a few successful books and one dud we slowed down around the holidays. Here we are kick starting things again, this time with a little bit more structure and hopefully even more discussion. 

How it works:

once a month on the last tuesday

posts go live first thing in the morning

jump in the comment conversation at any point throughout the day

super tip: subscribe to the comments to stay engaged

note: this is not a link up and you don't have to blog about the book, 

but you can feel free to write your own reviews and share them in the comment section each month.

This book club is for YOU if:

You love reading.

You find yourself wanting to talk about the books with people who care.

You read one of these books months ago and are still talking about it!

You don't want to write a book report.

The books for the rest of the year are still being chosen. We would love your suggestions!

Catch up on our past books and learn about future selections

on my Blogger Book Club page.

See you on the 29th to chat about Mindy!

Blogger Book Club: Gone Girl

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Upon raving recommendation from bloggers such as Anna and Alex, Whitney and I picked up Gone Girl for October, the perfect spooky book for a haunted October.

#bloggerbookclub is not intended to be a series of book reviews. Instead, they are interactive posts, sharing thoughs, opinions, and reactions to books we read. We hope that you can read along and respond in the comment section. Feel free to reach out to others and react to their observations as well. If you want to follow along, be sure to hit "subscribe by email" under the comment box. This will only subscribe you to comments on this post. 

Part One: Boy Loses Girl

In beginning this book, I immediately thought Nick Dunne was guilty. And despite the slow beginning I kept reading along if only to find out how Flynn would convince me otherwise. I did not see the twist she had planned coming. Even though I though he was guilty, I found myself connecting more with Nick than Amy, or "Diary Amy" as it was. Is this odd? I am especially interesting in whether anyone else felt this way!

Most shocking moments:
Nick receiving the text: "I am outside." At this point, I was hooked and couldn't put the book down. It never occurred to me that this might be the reason for the disposable phone.
Noelle. Everything about her, and most significantly her actions at the candle light vigil.
I never believe the pregnancy was real, but found myself often second guessing this.
Each new twist that implicated Nick. I kept thinking, damn this girl is good. The woodshed was the icing on the cake.

Part Two: Boy Meets Girl

The real Amy is revealed. I appreciated Amy's determination to accomplish things and cross them off her checklist. Its the OCD in me. Throughout part two, I kept thinking, stupid selfish girl as she made friends at the pool with Greta, agreed to fish with Jeff, watching Ellen Abbott with them, and generally any social interaction she had, but most significantly calling Desi. Also, why did she keep all of her money in her money belt at all times? why not hide some under the floor boards of her car, some in her cabin, anything but walk around everyday with $9k under your shirt. Stupid. 

Most shocking moments:

Nick's realization that Tommy O'Hara and Hillary Handy weren't the crazy ones - the pieces of the puzzle really began coming together here. 

Nick doing a fuzzy bar interview and having it actually benefit him.

Sharon Schieber - this was just odd, and actually disrupted the flow of the book for me because it just looked like reading my own name spelled wrong. 

Amy calling Desi. I thought for sure she was going to call the police at this point.

Nick's continued defense of Andie to Go...as if he needed to betray his sister further.

Part Three: Boy Gets Girl Back

The moment we have all be waiting for. Amy returns. How is this girl so crazy good at making everything go according to her own plan. I don't even want to consider the self-inflicted pain she was willing to endure throughout the story line because it is so disturbing.

Most shocking moments:

Tanner saying Nick and Amy were the most screwed up couple he had ever seen. Agreed!

Go, Boney, and Nick continuing to try to convict Amy.
The real pregnancy.
Nick deleted his book? Lost respect.
Nick telling Amy he feels sorry she has to wake up every morning and be her. Respect regained. The end.

How about you? What were your reactions to this book? 

Are you hooked on Gillian Flynn's style? 

What do you think about Reese Witherspoon producing a Gone Girl movie?

Did the anniversary treasure hunts seem too contrived?

Did you salivate at the description of their lobster dinner? Or is that just my pregnancy cravings again?

Can you believe Nick stayed in the end?

Will his relationship with Go ever be real again?

Did you sympathize with the pressure to be Amazing Amy?

Or simply wonder how Amy had been so enabled her whole life?

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Blogger Book Club: A Gate at the Stairs

Have you ever picked up a book and struggled to read more than a few pages at a time? Worse have you ever blatantly avoided reading a book? Well, that's where I am with A Gate at the Stairs. I didn't finish. I can't and won't. Actually, I managed to read three ESPN magazines, a Martha Stewart Living, and two Working Mother magazines all to avoid this book on vacation.

I have seen great reviews of this book, it came highly recommended so it seemed an easy choice for me and my over-zealous reading book buddy Whitney. And then came our fated email conversation:

Whitney: How you doing on it? I am halfway through and it's borderline painful.
Me: I don't think I can keep going... what if I just post about the failed book club book and we let you pick the next book since you clearly choose better than I do!?!
Whitney: Oh phew, I have been wanting to quit too but didn't want to fail you.

So there you have it. Neither of us finished the book.

How about you? Have you read this book? Do you have a convincing plea that will keep me reading? Or should I add it to my donation pile?

Note: I feel shamed, like a sheepish seventh grader whose sub par book report clearly indicated a lack of understanding of even the main character.

Keep an eye out on my right side bar for the announcement of October's book!

Blogger Book Club: Secret Daughter

Welcome to the second #bloggerbookclub! 

As I explained last time, this is not a review of Secret Daughter, instead it is my thoughts as I read through the book, shared similarly as it would be in a real live book club setting. I hope that you can read along and respond in the comment section. This is intended to be an interactive blog post - so feel free to reach out to others and react to their observations as well. If you want to follow along, be sure to hit "subscribe by email" under the comment box. This will only subscribe you to comments on this post. So excited to hear what you thought as you read the book this month!

The Prologue

I keep wondering who the man is. My best guess is Jasu comes around and it is him...so intrigued!

Part I

Kavita - As I read her story, I felt her pain as if my own insides were being ripped out. We were in the car, so I kept it together, but I wanted to heave and sob along with her. 1984, the year I was born -  it seems like such an uncivilized world. How can this have still be happening during my generation? How can it still be happening today? I am angry at the mid-wife...not that she has any other choice. I cannot imagine the journey she made, so soon after labor - what an incredible act of strength.

Somer - I immediately thought of my own friends struggling with various fertility challenges. I wanted to shield this book from them. Their pain is fresh, and Somer's ordeal is written in such a away that it still feels raw. The scene at the baby shower reminded me of my own blunder. I once told a friend I was "So glad at least you aren't pregnant too!" at a baby shower before I was ready for kids, having no idea she had been struggling for over three years. I still feel guilty, years later. I often wonder how people make the jump to adoption. I know that for many it comes naturally, they always have had a heart for adoption. But when it faces you as your only option to have a family, when do you put your dream of conceiving a child aside and accept adoption as your alternative?

Somer in India - I want to slap her, but also yell at Kris for not helping her transition better. Shame on both of them for keeping so much from each other both Kris in their early marriage, not sharing is culture, and Somer about her adjustment in India. They seem to have set themselves up for failure.

Kavita after her son is born - Jasu's sudden showing of affection is irritating, and yet Kavita seems to both acknowledge and accept this. Again, her strength as a woman astounds me.

Meeting Asha - She has been called Usha for over a year...you have known her as Asha for a few months - as adults why not just change and call her Usha? This was so odd to me.

When Somer and Sarla bathed Asha together, it seemed so hopeful of a bond between the two women to form...and then it all fizzled away. Again and again, I wanted Somer to be more open minded to India, especially for the sake of her daughter.

Somer's maternal instincts - no one ever braces mom's for how hard it will be, that not everything comes naturally. I can only imagine how this is magnified with adoption. No wonder Somer seems to flounder a bit. I wish she had a better support network.

Part II

Kavita, Jasu, and Vijay - moving to Bombay seems crazy. How do they not know about the slums? I understand that leaving will give them a better chance, but aren't they just leaving Jasu's parents to starve? Why did they stay? Why didn't they go home? How did Kavita deal with their circumstances? How does Kavita emotionally bring herself to visit the orphanage?

Vijay's wad of cash - my first thought is he is selling drugs - how am I so jaded? But wait, really, he is selling drugs right?

Somer and Kris - pg. 98 "Somer didn't know that having it all, as she always believes she would, would mean feeling like she's falling short everywhere." Whenever I read something like this in a book (the same with Bloom) my first thought is almost always, you mean I am not alone?! Someone else feels like they are failing too?

Kris - missing his heritage, I only blame him. He is the one that spent over 10 years ignoring it.

Asha's letters break my heart.

Her strength to want to write about a true story for her school paper is impressive - but it makes me wonder where she got this drive from (as both of her parents seem to be pragmatists)

Part III

Asha at College - I continue to be sad that Asha's strengths do not seem to be enough for her parents - but I suspect this is quite common in the US. It seems like college is when Asha finally had the freedom to start exploring her heritage.

pg. 157 Kris says "At some point the family you create is more important than the one you are born into." This seems like a pivotal point for Kris and Asha. Its a passing statement, but it carries so much weight. If only he would take his words to heart and invest more in the family he created.

When Kavita and Jasu return to find cops tearing apart their home looking for Vijay and his supply, I wonder what it must feel like as a parent. Defending your child because you want to believe the best, not willing to give into the doubt that they may be making horrible decisions. Again at the Diwali celebration with friends, inklings of Vijay's business once again creep to the surface.

Jasu's nightmares, are these about Vijay, or the daughters he lost?

When Somer walks in on Asha "packing" - reading the letters to her mother and holding the bangle, I desperately want them to hash it out. I want to scream for Somer to share her worries, to bring these two women some understanding before they part for a year. But they both seem too stubborn.

Asha seems so welcomed by the family in India, it doesn't seem as though Somer was as welcomed. I am grateful for Asha that she has girl cousins to take her under their wing. Particularly as they prepare for the family wedding. On page 203, Asha "chronicles the day's events...the food may be spicy, the clothes uncomfortable, and the beauty treatments painful...starting to feel like home."

I appreciate the author's continued and subtel references to the disparity between recorded births of girls vs. boys.

I am again struck by Somer's stubbornness in her separation from Kris; her woe is me attitude. When really, she has very little in life to be complaining about. Her character continues to be a stark contrast to Kavita.

Sanjay. Sanjay, sanjay, sanjay. I have so much to say about you, but I will leave it for my concluding thoughts.

Dharavi - Each scene in Dharavi leaves me realizing that I cannot understand how deep the poverty is. The visual that comes to mind are scenes from Slumdog Millionaire. (don't judge me for admitting that?) or Occupy Wall Street camps. Other than these two images, I have never seen anything that would resemble Dharavi, not even on my trips to other developing countries.

Jasu and Kavita, I am amazed that they are still in Mumbai. After all of their hardship, it is incredible that they did not retreat home to their family in the village.

Jasu pours his heart out in the chapter Only One Regret, and becomes a character I can sympathize with once again. His hard edges are erased by his acknowledgement of Kavita's strength as the buoy for their family.

Asha and Dadima's morning walks reminded me of time spent with my own grandmothers. I hope that my own children grow to see their grandparents as sources of wisdom and experience - and that time with them should be cherished. There are roles that grandparents play that parents cannot, like Dadima's support for Asha finding her birth parents.

While I appreciate that the book focuses on the strength of women, I want to hear more about Dadaji - it as almost as if Dadima is the only person Asha is living with.

Part IV

Asha'a search for her birth parents overwhelmed me a bit. I don't have coherent thoughts on this. But I was curious as to why the taxi driver did not want to go to Vincent Road at that time of day. And were Kavita and Asha in Mahalaxmi Temple at the same time? The roller coaster of emotions Asha went through was gut wrenching, but I am glad she settled on the conclusion that her Mother loved her enough to give her away.

The reunion between Somer and Kris seemed so natural. So glad Somer travels to India with Kris - it feels like her last chance to save her family and it is about time!

Why didn't anyone call Asha to tell her to come home when Dadji passed away? And why did Dadima insist Asha light the pyre? Again, I am wishing Dadji's character was further developed.

Asha seems to have accepted her adoptive parents for who they are, taking Kris to a traditional Indian street food restaurant and Somer to and Italian restaurant. This contrast seems so important in understanding their cultural differnces.

I was correct is suspecting Jasu was the man in the prologue - but why, oh why did it take Jasu and Kavita so stinking long to finally discuss their second child. I am grateful for the closure Kavita must have had that her daughter was successful and still came looking for her.

I wish I knew what Asha's letter said, but how wonderful that they saw her work in the Times?

Concluding Thoughts

I loved this book. I would love to see it as a movie, and I very rarely think that about books. I wish there was better character development of the males, but that would be another 300 pages. Mostly I wanted to see more of Sanjay and Asha's relationship. In fact, I would love a second book about Sanjay and Asha. Please!

Also, Whitney (who I started this book club with) sent along this post about a fellow blogger who just returned from a trip to India - perfect timing for complimentary reading!

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September Book: A Gate at the Stairs 
more details will be coming soon in the side bar!

August Book Club: Secret Daughter

The response to reading Bloom "together" was so great, I have decided to take another go at a virtual book club. If you would like to join me (and a few others!) this month we are reading: Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda. I just started and let me tell you, it is a beautiful and gripping story.

But don't comment about the book yet.

Come back Thursday, August 23rd for the full debrief and to add your two cents.

Not sure if you will remember?

Click the button below to add book club to your calendar.

Bloom

Thoughts on Bloom, by Kelle Hampton.

I immediately knew I wanted to read this book. It was pre-ordered in my amazon shopping cart the day that pre-orders began. I started reading Kelle's blog, Enjoying The Small Things in 2009 following along her pregnancy journey and soaking up adorable pictures of her first daughter Lainey. I have loved their family story, and more than anything wanted to support the release of the book. When the book arrived, it sat on my kitchen table for weeks, being shuffled with piles of paper, while I lacked both the time and motivation to sit down and read. In late June, I decided on a whim to read this book with a friend. We gave ourselves the month of July, never imagining how two busy working moms would finished this book in under two weeks! Our summaries to one another were just a few (long) emails. And you know what, it was fun.

I have never been part of a "book club." And after a few failed attempts to join one, I have resolved that you, the blogging community, may be my best shot. So here is goes, my first ever online book club post. Bloom has been out for a few months now, and I know some of you have read it. Hopefully you will join me in the comments to continue the conversation. I would love to hear your thoughts as well, after all, you are officially part of my book club.

Prologue. No matter how may times I read the story of Nella’s birth, I always cry and I always think Kelle is a crazy wonder woman! Favors for her hospital guests? And the sheer number of people there before delivery, during contractions, for the delivery? Crazy! No ma’am, not me. I thought when I first read her story, and having Behr totally reinforced the fact that no-way, no-how will my hospital room ever be as hopping as hers. Also, I don’t know many people with friends like that.

Dr. Foley, her pediatrician sounds amazing. I am in love with that woman.

Chapter 1. Whoa, pictures of Kelle Hampton with blond hair (cue wedding pictures). The scare, while her husband was away, the big clot. Scary. I also never knew Kelle had stepsons.

Chapter 2. I appreciate that she gave such a personal example of how and why she learned to deal with change throughout her life. At first the story in this chapter seems to be there for shock value, but the more I read the book, the more it fits. The letter her Dad wrote, recounting the first days was incredible. “And I wonder if gratitude is the uniformed doorman of the heart…”

Chapter 3. Again, reminded of her incredible friends, or “the net” as they call themselves. “I looked in the mirror. It was horrifying.” So true. Your first full view of yourself post-labor is an out of body experiences. Leg warmers. Didn’t realize people still had these/sold these. But so smart post-labor. I love Marsha. Why does her brother call her Kas? She explained why she calls him Bubby. I am blown away that she wanted her husband home with Lainey. I think I would be just the opposite – send my friends to care for Behr, give me my husband.

Chapter 4. Husband brought Beer. 10 points. A great song. Sara Groves is spot on. Sister Carin’s speech…”You know, through pain, you learn a lot about yourself – things you thought you never knew you wanted to learn.” Choose your own adventure book reference, classic.

Chapter 5. Tanning Booth – perfection. Bubby is one smart brother. Theresa’s letter made me cry. I keep going back to read it. Wondering if I could ever give so much of myself, wondering how she can be so generous and selfless. (pg 99) Julie’s letter was also so well written. Nella’s going home outfit was the cutest thing ever. The woman in scrubs who went in to visit and meet Nella, what an incredible act of kindness.

Chapter 6. Skinny dipping story, outrageously hilarious. It amazes me how much this book has me rolling in fits of laughter. Pumping, like “a Hoover vac on crack.” I think my breastfeeding ended in a very similar way. Viewing blogging as walking deeper into Gratitude. Yes.

Chapter 7. The photo of Nella and Lainey make my ovaries hurt. Big sister and little sister, sharing an early embrace. Brett looking for the space heater story made me bawl my eyes out. Writing Nella’s story, I can’t imagine what that must have been like. And then to finish, his publish, and release it to the masses – incredible.

Chapter 8. This chapter unlocked the true turning point for Kelle when she wrote: “But it was in this beautiful mess of my former self that true potential dwelled – potential to be molded and shaped by a grand defining moment.” {page 148}

Chapter 9. It is people like the man in the airport that takes their family picture that gives me hope in humanity. Kelle’s Dad’s take on “God Spinners” got me rolling in laughter and then thinking very deeply. I appreciated this insight into the way things can be perceived. The stories she {finally!} told about Brett’s boys’ reactions to the news of Nella were so beautifully gracious.

Chapter 10. I continued to be surprised by how Kelle and Brett dealt with the reality of Down Syndrome, not talking to each other much, ignoring literature, avoiding information. Mark and I would have reacted the exact opposite. I read nine different books when I was pregnant, and three breastfeeding books, and that was all for a routine, no-risk pregnancy. I was relieved once she finally sank down and researched, and then my heart broke when it impacted her negatively.

My own raw wounds opened up as I read, “Would Lainey be welcoming her first grandchild and saying good-bye to her sister at the same time?” {page 192} And my heart broke for my own mother who buried her dad the weekend I told her I was expecting, and then buried both her mom and her sister before Behr was six months old. I still struggle with how I allowed my conflicting emotions of sorrow and joy to each mute the extremes of the other. I cannot imagine what it was like for my mom. And then the reality that the scenario Kelle described can happen with or without Down Syndrome made me want to hug my sisters hard.

Chapter 11. Brett’s questions about what Nella will be able to do are precious. Again, I am amazed that they want to move forward without digging into research, but I am impressed by their ability to grab life, and live it to their fullest.

Chapter 12. I love the story of David, her seemingly anonymous spontaneous therapist, and how it came full circle. And then there is the chapter’s namesake story, “your speech touched my heart.” 

Chapter 13. Kelle’s trip to Montana to visit Nici reminded me of my own blogger weekend in Boston last fall. Love those girls. Nella’s Rockstars were outrageous and awesome.

Chapter 14. I remember crying over the ONEder fund the first time, tears streamed re-reading about it here, and then again as I re-read the paragraph aloud for Mark. The email to her girlfriends, “the net,” was the first time addressing that they didn’t just join hands over beer and sing kumbaya.

The Velveteen Rabbit story was an excellent way to wrap up the book.


Overall, I thought the book was inspiring and encouraging, offer the hope of change and growth. I would love to hear your thoughts, have you read it? What do you think of my observations? Have you already blogged about this book - share the link!