Practical Hospitality, Part 3

Over the course of this month, I will share close to 100 small steps towards hospitality. It doesn't necessarily come easily. Hospitality can be uncomfortable, messy, and time-consuming, but the rewards are great. My hope is that by making minor shifts in our days (myself included) we can grow and challenge ourselves to be more hospitable in our day-to-day activities. This week the focus is serving neighbors and co-workers.

Practical Hospitality 1-20
Practical Hospitality 21-40

Neighbors:
41. Rake your neighbors leaves, or bag them.

42. Mow their lawn -- one of my childhood neighbors mowed our lawn for nearly 5 years offering huge assistance to my parents.

43. Offer to care for plants if your neighbors are going out of town,

44. collect their mail,

45. and take out the trash.

46. Give gift certificates for restaurants,

47. cleaning services, 

48. car maintenance,
49. and pet care.

50. When giving gifts, low maintenance flowers are the best value for your dollar -- we still have a peace lilly sent by Mark's grandparents when Behr was born in January 2011.

51. Walk their dog, or care for pets.

52. Even offer to pick up supplies for pets.

53. Bring firewood, or chop extra to share.

54. Surprise breakfast -- a basket left on the porch with their paper containing a carafe of coffee and fresh muffins (like a bed and breakfast but at home)

Co-workers:

56. Coffee run!

57. Monetary gift cards for peers -- because a few bucks to a favorite lunch spot is a great way to say thanks

58. Share/swap schedules to help meet demands for as working early or late.

59. Baked goods.

60. Stock a fruit bowl -- apples, clementines, pears, seasonal options that have a decent shelf life.

Check back each Sunday for more ways to practice hospitality.

I am joining The Nester's challenge and blogging for #31Days 

on the topic of Hospitality and Holiness. 

*photo from Umba

Perfection or Holiness?

One of the biggest challenges in opening our homes is that life is messy. Extending hospitality may reveal our secrets and insecurities. Hosting can often lead to the mopping of floors, fluffing of pillows, and hiding things behind doors. When we pile our junk behind a door and shut it tight, fingers crossed none of our guests dare step in that direction, what are we actually hiding?

What are we afraid of?
Are we afraid of being less than holy?
Of looking like a junk collector or hoarder?
Of revealing piles of bills that we are struggling to pay?
Or too many magazines which boarder line obsession?
Maybe it is weeks worth of laundry that we are embarrassed about,
Or a corner of our home that isn't pinterest worthy?


A ThriveMoms newsletter from a few weeks ago hit the nail on the head for me, and in many ways shifted the focus this #31Days series.

Are you seeking perfection or holiness? 

 Let's not allow ourselves to confuse the two. Perfectionism is self-focused. Holiness is Christ-focused. Perfectionism says, "I'm in control". Holiness says "I surrender to Jesus". Perfectionism seeks approval of men. Holiness stamps you approved under the shed blood of Jesus. Perfectionism is when you try to control every aspect of your lives. Holiness is something only God can do as we surrender every aspect to Him.

If the striving for perfection what keeps you from extending hospitality, I encourage you to take a small step to break the pattern of behavior.

photo from potterybarn.com

Less than Perfect Hospitality

Friends came over for dinner tonight and we were not ready. We planned to eat on our roof, but the food was just going on the stovetop and both boys were only mildly recovered from meltdowns. People, we were making hot dogs and baked beans, nothing gourmet and definitely not rocket science. There was no reason we were running late other than life just happens that way some times. Our friends and their three kids showed up and loved us anyway. The little ones ran around together. The conversation was good. And the best part, the evening was life-giving.

Part of my effort to serve others well this year is to alter my natural state of interaction. Rather than jab someone in the ribs or making a cutting, albeit humorous comment, I want to encourage, serve, uplift, give life. I want to shut my mouth a bit more, let God calm my nerves, and leave space for encouraging conversations.

I do no have to be funny.
I do not have to be right.
I do not even have to talk.
And God can still work through me.

I am learning and putting into practice a kind of hospitality that is okay on paper plates, with spills and missing items, and even a bit of crusty burned food at the bottom of the pan. I am learning what hospitality looks like when living on a smaller budget. I am learning that having friends visit is always better than checking things off my never ending to-do list.

I am embracing messy community.
God still blesses the mess.

Practical Hospitality, Part 2

Over the course of this month, I will share close to 100 small steps towards hospitality. It doesn't necessarily come easily. Hospitality can be uncomfortable, messy, and time-consuming, but the rewards are great. My hope is that by making minor shifts in our days (myself included) we can grow and challenge ourselves to be more hospitable in our day-to-day activities. This week the focus is particularly on families with young children (because not only new moms need help).

Practical Hospitality 1-20

21. When offering to bring a meal, think about alternatives to dinner, lunch and breakfast can be just as helpful.

22. Bring meals in disposable containers or reusable containers you say you don't want returned.

23. Offer a meal, or coffee, when a parent returns to work after an absence (even a kid with the flu can leave a co-worker feeling behind and overwhelmed when they return to the office).

24. Offer free babysitting with a specific date or time in mind - a vague offer rarely gets cashed in.

25. Or even a babysitting swap.

26. Create a family adventure -- an in-home movie + meal, games and snacks.

27. Share your sports tickets. If you regularly have tickets to games, offering these to a family with young kids could make their month. 

28. Live near a school? Offer to be the emergency contact/pick up for a friend's kids. It might help in a pinch, but the peace of mind it brings will be felt year round.
29. Car pool to school, sports, and any other activity.

30. Going to a warehouse store? Ask a harried friend if they could use anything in bulk.

31. Same goes for the grocery store.

32. And children's consignment stores.

33. Offer hand-me-down clothes, they are one of the best ways to help a growing family save money.

34. Don't just serve, organize groups to service others with these tools:

35. www.takethemameal.com 

36. www.mealbaby.com 

37. www.volunteerspot.com

38. www.signupgenius.com

39. Welcoming friends who are moving to town/back to town by throwing a pound party -- each guest brings a pound of something as a gift to help stock their pantry or cabinets.

40. Invite them along -- don't assume that families can't join in the fun.

Note: On this topic, I am searching for a standout meal delivery service so I can care for friends who live farther away. Any tips?

Check back each Sunday for more ways to practice hospitality.

I am joining The Nester's challenge and blogging for #31Days 

on the topic of Hospitality and Holiness. 

*photo from Umba

Practical Hospitality, Part 1

Over the course of this month, I will share close to 100 small steps towards hospitality. It doesn't necessarily come easily. Hospitality can be uncomfortable, messy, and time-consuming, but the rewards are great. My hope is that by making minor shifts in our days (myself included) we can grow and challenge ourselves to be more hospitable in our day-to-day activities.

Note: these could be called acts of kindness, serving your community, or loving your neighbor. I believe these all fall into the category of hospitality -- I am continuing to work on reshaping my personal ideas of hospitality from a societal pressure to the much more freeing calling from God.

1. Offer you seat, on public transit, in a coffee shop, or even a park bench.

2. Talk to someone new.

3. Open your front door. 

4. Sit on your front porch.

5. Play with your kids in the front yard, or side yard, or wherever you might be more inclined to run into a neighbor.

6. Write a letter to someone you haven't talked to in too long.

7. Write a letter to someone who wouldn't expect to receive mail from you.

8. Take a walk to your local coffee shop.

9. Buy a coffee for a friend, or the person behind you.

10. Strike up a conversation with the person checking you out at the grocery store.

11. Take a walk around your neighborhood.

12. Say hello to the people you pass.

13. Ask about people's dogs (it is easier than asking questions about their kids...babysteps!)

14. Find the oldest person in the room and talk to them. 

15. Ask someone about their day and really listen to their answer. 

16. Learn the names of the people you pass regularly, from the security guards and cleaning crews at work to the local shop keepers.

17. Begin saying hello to those people by name -- practice. 

18. Hand out (nut-free) granola bars to homeless. Invite someone over for muffins in the morning, or tea in the evening - both are quick and easier than a full meal.

19. Send a paper invitation to a friend for dinner, date TBD, within a specific time frame. Commit to setting a date.

20. Contribute to a tip jar at a pizza place or restaurant with a carry out counter.

Check back each Sunday for more ways to practice hospitality.

I am joining The Nester's challenge and blogging for #31Days 

on the topic of Hospitality and Holiness. 

Here are some of my previous posts.

31 Days of Hospitality

What is Hospitality
Biblical Hospitality

Is Hospitality Holy?
How do Hospitality and Holiness Relate?

*photo from Umba

How do hospitality and holiness relate?

After my writer’s block and self-doubt, questioning who I was to speak of what is holy, I found community to help bring the answer. (God created us to be in community, people!) A couple hours of great conversation later, I am encouraged.

Hospitality is holy!

When it is in faith that we reach out, being hospitable to one another, that it is holy. God commands hospitality.

Not all hospitality is necessarily holy, but it certainly can be. Reaching out and loving our neighbors, done in faith is a holy act. I’ve been reminded that any act in faith can be holy. Baking cookies, feeding friends, disciplining my children or even changing diapers can all be holy, when done in faith.

Side note: over the past few months I have been astounded by how isolating motherhood can be. This post is a direct result of friends reaching in and puling me out of the uncertainty that crept in through loneliness. Yes, I have my children all day long, park visits, and live in a bustling city. But without rich community, I was forgetting basic truths. Only a few days in and this writing series is already a greater challenge I ever would have imagined. 

Tomorrow I will be sharing practical ways to begin to approach hospitality.

I am joining The Nester's Challenge and blogging for #31Days 

on the topic of Hospitality and Holiness. 

Is hospitality holy?

Leviticus 19 begins with God commanding Moses to tell the people of Israel, “Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.”

Sometimes I think the discussion of holiness gets sticky. Actually, I don’t fully understand where lines of holiness are drawn.

Can hospitality be holy? Certainly not all hospitality is holy.

Is opening my home and resources to share with others holy? Do those actions depend on where my heart is in order to be determined holy or unholy? Or is God’s work in and through me enough to cover the sin that most certainly is in me during my efforts to be hospitable.

Who am I to declare that being hospitable is holy?

This is where I got stuck in my writing. I do not want to be sharing heresy. A biblical scholar, I am not.  So while I seek advice and perspective on holiness and its relationship to hospitality, I am going to focus on God honoring.

Hospitality, sharing with and welcoming our friends, neighbors, and strangers, is God honoring. It is good. And is it most certainly what God asks of us, as we talked about yesterday.

Biblical Hospitality

Yesterday we looked at Merriam-Webster’s definition, and my own heart towards hospitality, a perhaps pleasant, but not very loving picture.

Conversely, when we look at the meaning of the Greek word found in the bible for being hospitable, it can be translated as “lover of strangers” and “generous to guests” (from Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon) 

"You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God." -- Leviticus 19:34

The biblical accounts of hospitality are often tied to extending an offer to strangers. In a culture that lacked restaurants and hotels, travelers, as well as disciples, relied upon the opening of homes in each new town. Paul’s letters often thank cities for welcoming him into their homes. Similarly, he continued to urge the recipients of his letters to extend themselves, even to strangers and their enemies. (See Romans 12:20)

The closest I have seen to this form of hospitality has been on youth missions. Recently a friend and I recounted our separate yet very similar trips to Paraguay and Guatemala. Upon our arrival to a small community, a host family member was displaced from their own bed so that we might have a place to sleep for the week. These families served us meals that were more lavish than they typical afforded and often bough specific items, like Coca-Cola, for their American guests.

The bible also ties being hospitable with the attitude in which you serve – words such as gladly, without grumbling, heartily, self-controlled, upright, holy, disciplined.

"Show hospitality to one another without grumbling." -- 1 Peter 4:9 

What is the attitude associated with hospitality in your own life?

I will be spending time this weekend reflecting on Leviticus 19 – will you join me?

What is hospitality?

Above is the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of hospitality. How does that resonate with you? Is that how you define hospitality?

In my head, hospitality often looks like a fancy dinner, nice outfit, adults chatting, well-behaved children, a clean house, comfortable seating. Hospitality gets muddled and confused with playing hostess or throwing a party. It often gets confused by striving for an unrealistic form of perfection.

If welcoming people into my home looks like a panic frenzy, mistreating my family in the process of getting “ready,” then something is off. That picture is most definitely not holy.

I want to re-write my cultural image of hospitality to be shaped by ideas of warmth, care, support, available, comfort, tenderness, and even sacrifice. I want to seek after a biblical understanding of hospitality.

When you hear hospitality, what comes to mind?

#31Days of Hospitality

As I started 2013, I reflected on how I wanted the year ahead to be shaped. My words for the year were serve & connect. This has manifested in letter writing, having meals with friends more regularly, and caring for members of our church and community. However, the more I thought of serving others, the more I wanted to better understand how the concept of hospitality comes into play. For the month of October, I will be linking up with The Nester talking about ideas that have been percolating and how the Bible talks about both hospitality and service.

Can hospitality be holy?
What does God say about hospitality?
God calls us to serve our neighbors, what does that look like?
What are some conventional and even unconventional ways that we can serve our neighbors?
Are hospitality and service one in the same? Can they be separated?
What does hospitality look like from a distance? Or outside your home?
How can you be hospitable when you aren't able to be a host?
What does hospitality look like in community?

I began with a very practical list of to-dos to help your neighbor, but the more I drafted a guide list, the more I was drawn to God's plan for serving others.  This series will be a mix of the two, some days leaning towards the more practical, other days trying to better understand God's word.

View the full series here.