Dear Baby, You Entered Our World {Part Four}

Thursday, January 13th:
Today ended up being the day of surgeries for Behr. First was his circumcision (and boy was that tough to send him off to) and second was his tongue tie.

When the doctor picked up our son for the circumcision, I said to Behr as he was getting wheeled away, “I’m praying for you”, the doctor then whit fully replied, “don’t just pray for him because he is going with me, pray for him every day!” 

You could hear Behr letting the doctors know what he thought of the surgery, I cringed and couldn’t wait to get him back in our arms. A few hours after the circumcision, came the need for the tongue tie surgery, this time the doctors needed me to hold him for the procedure.

As we entered the surgery room, Behr let out a yell. Can you blame him? The poor boy was just in there a few hours ago and I bet he remembered what happened earlier!

Before the doctors did the tongue procedure he wanted to get a couple pictures in which I ok’ed, after all this is a teaching hospital. However in order to get the pictures they needed Behr to open his mouth wide. Since Behr had calmed down from entering the OR, the doctors decided to unwrap his cozy burrito blanket wrap – well this definitely made him cry again. After a couple attempts of pictures the doctors were still trying to get a few more shots and then out of the blue I spoke up and said that’s enough.

Instantly the doctors listened and we wrapped Behr up to comfort him. It was a new realization of power for me in which the doctors responded with respect.

 For the procedure I had to hold Behr on my lap, keeping his head still. The doctors numbed the area and then basically snipped as needed. Although it was quick, holding my son felt like an eternity as I didn’t want to slip or move him and cause unnecessary harm to our boy. Needless to say we all continued to rest up although only an hour here and there.

Friday, January 14th:
In an effort to convince the doctors we were ready to go home, Shannon would hop out of bed and walk around every time she heard a familiar doctor's voice outside our door.  As Shannon rested up, paced the halls, she continued to regain her strength and energy in hopes that she could leave the hospital by tomorrow. But before that happened we shared in a day of more visitors, as well as, wait…I still need to pack for Brazil!

Karlene’s arrival today from Boston was instrumental in helping me get packed so that I could spend more time with Behr and Shannon. Oh and Karlene made sure that I ate food too. For some reason, when I was at the hospital I was only eating one or two meals a day, perhaps it was the stress of leaving town so quickly and wanting to maximize time with family or it was the unknown of what the next week entailed. Regardless, I was thankful that we had a friend like Karlene to spend time with Shannon right away.

Saturday, January 15th:
Time to go home, then CVS, then home, wait – now it is time to go to the airport… That was basically how quick my day flew by. Below are the following highlights that I will never forget about this day…
 - Leaving the hospital thinking, “wait they are really going to let us take a baby home”.
 - My new found defensive driving abilities with baby on board.
 - Bringing my family home for the first time.
 - Getting choked up walking down the hall leaving the apartment for my trip.
 - Thanking God for the gift of life and the safety of my wife and son.

Most significant for Shannon was probably leaving the hospital. As we pulled away from Georgetown, with a new bundle in the back seat of our car, turning to look at him every few seconds a song began to play on the radio.  This song by Sidewalk Prophets has become Shannon's song for Behr.

click play if you want to hear it

Reflection:


In the craziness that we felt at the time, we can’t help but be even more grateful of the service and sacrifice of our men and women in the armed forces. As hundreds of fathers are unable to be home for the birth of their babies, we can’t help but gain a more positive perspective of how thankful we were that I could be home for the birth of my son before having to travel. As difficult as it was to leave and as long as that following week felt, I can’t help but remember the joy it was to come home and see my family. May our prayers always be with the parents of these newborns who’s unselfish service for our freedom require for them to miss some of life’s greatest and emotional moments.

It has been a joy to write the birth story of our son for you, but mostly to capture the memory for my family.  Thanks for reading.  - Mark

Dear Baby, Your Story Continues {Part Three}

This is the story of Behr's Birth told through the eyes of his father.  Haven't caught the first half?  Read up!

Tuesday, January 11th (continued):


Standing and waiting there felt like an eternity, but eventually a nurse called me and said, “Mr. Schreiber its time.”

Entering the operating room was surreal as the doctors were gathered around my wife as she laid there on the table. The doctors and nurses were thoroughly preparing for surgery in an impressively coordinated rhythm. As I approached, I could see my little wife peering up at me. I smiled at her as I made sure she was ok and comfortable. As surgery began, my main focus was encouraging Shannon, keeping her comfortable and also talking enough so that she was focused on the sound of my voice and nothing else. We talked about vacations, traveling and other topics to keep ourselves distracted and before we knew it…

Wednesday, January 12th:

….little Behr was tugged out and the doctors briefly lifted him over the curtain so that we could see him for the first time. The doctors, then quickly took his vitals as our son vocalized his entrance into this world.

Can you blame him?

He was in a warm dark, fed on demand environment, and now he is in a bright, cold room with people wiping him down.

The nurses quickly brought Behr over to us and he continued to cry until the moment when the doctors placed him in my arms and I said “hello.” He must have recognized my voice, because he looked up and calmed down instantly.

Filled with utter joy, my eyes began to tear up. I turned to my wife and could not believe we were in this moment, celebrating the birth of our son.

As we sat there in the OR, the nurses helped to move Behr close to Shannon so that he could lay on her chest. Although exhausted from hours of labor and exhausting the moments leading up to surgery, the birth of our son re-energized us. While the doctors finished up the surgery we had an incredible time meeting our new born son.

Once surgery was complete, the nurses took us back to our labor and delivery room so that mom and son could bond immediately. We bonded and talked through basics and then I helped the nurse with our son’s first bath.

And by “helped” I basically watched in awe, as I could barely function with fatigue setting in.

When bath time was complete the nurse asked if I wanted to help put Behr’s onesie on, I took a try at it, but had to turn the reins over to the professional, as I needed to practice more. We finally got wheeled down to the recovery area around 4 am. By then all three of us were rather tired and we dozed off for a couple hours.

Waking up, I began a quick crash course in changing diapers and Shannon was coached on feeding methods. The staff at Georgetown was incredible as we even had doctors and nurses from Labor and Delivery stop by to say congrats. Someone even said, “Congrats this means you can stay until Sunday…” referring to the fact the Behr was born in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, not late on Tuesday evening.

We turned to each other mutually agreeing that we were not too excited about the thought of staying until Sunday. Shannon was ready to get out of the hospital and I looked forward to brining my family home before leaving for Brazil.

Overall the day was a blur, I made phone calls, we sent emails and then Behr got to meet all four of his grandparents as well as Uncle Ben. It was absolutely incredible stuffing our family into the small hospital room as we each were glowing with joy. When the visiting ended we rested up and quickly learned to nap when our less than 24 hour old son rested.

we also gave Behr his first lacrosse stick before he was 24 hours old!
text book hand positioning,
he is a natural.

Dear Baby, This is Your Story

Hey guys, Shannon here.  Letting you know that Mark is about to continue telling the story of Behr's Birth.  Just in case you missed it, check out my intro here, and part one here. Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 11th:

My wife is wonder woman. Why you ask? Because we have now been here since Sunday.  Do you realize that is now over 30 hours of contractions?  30 hours of labor and her body is just beginning to respond to the drugs.  Things are certainly happening, but at the same time they are not. Aren’t the drugs supposed to be speeding things up?

By this point, Shannon is having contractions ever six minutes, so doctors cannot increase the pitocin dosage.

As we consulted with the doctors and nurses they continued to keep us posted on the status of everything. With Tuesday here my pending trip to Brazil started to nag us in the back of our minds. We quickly squashed those concerns as we decided I would change my flight, etc if need be. With our focus on what was best for Shannon and baby, the doctors suggested breaking her water early afternoon. This meant upping the potential timeline and encouraging Shannon’s body to take over the labor process.

Even with a short break from the drug induced labor contractions last night, Shannon continued to endure and persevere. We continued to past time with playing card games, etc. Doctors and nurses continue to change shifts with amazement that we were still there. One of the most challenging parts mentally for us began to creep in as we were seeing and hearing other families in the labor and delivery wing come and go as their babies were born.

At 1:30, they broke Shannon's water. Things immediately began to pick up and become even more intense as far as labor pains, etc.

By 4:30 Shannon was three centimeters, only thee centimeters, and it had been 45 hours of contractions!

Around 5:30pm, Shannon was not getting enough of a break between contractions so she was on oxygen and shaking uncontrollably, causing her to throw up between contractions.  All the while, Shannon stood, leaning over the side of the bed to bear through contractions. It became evident that this baby was sunny side up, meaning back labor, with the baby's skull pressing against her spine causing more pain. Standing provided just enough relief in the pain's intensity, that she could continue to endure.

However, by 6:30pm, the pain was so concentrated that we requested an epidural for Shannon. I did all that I could as I prayed and tried to support my beautiful wife in her labor pains. For a husband, we can’t experience these pains, and if we could, I know we would trade places with our brides, take away the pain from them and endure it ourselves.

As I reflect in writing this now, I can’t help but imagine how great God’s love is for us to send his only Son to die on the cross for our sins, taking our place from the wrath that we deserve. And in order for Christ to conquer death he had to separate himself from God’s glory and receive our punishment. These moments of our life help us to better understand this absolutely beautiful act of love.

Outside the weather was cold and the forecast was snow. As the day progressed evening fell and the hospital staff kept us informed. It was obvious by now that Shannon was, and by all means understandably, getting tired. If we kept this up at this rate there might be some real activity taking place late tomorrow morning. As we got a glimpse of what tomorrow could hold, we knew we would need to get some rest.

Shannon was laying on her side, still on oxygen, while the nurses came in periodically to check on the baby's heart rate and rotate Shannon to get a better reading.

Around 10:00pm or so, as Shannon tried to sleep I decided to get a few hours of rest myself.

Literally as I turn the last light off, put my glasses down on the night stand and lay my head down, the doctors and nurses come in wanting to chat. As they monitored Shannon and baby, they were beginning to get concerned about how restful our son was getting during contractions. Behr's heart rate was resting for too long.  This meant he wasn’t actively engaging with labor, this could be a sign that he is too tired. Out of concern for the safety of mom and baby the doctors reluctantly advised for a c-section.  In spite of our exhaustion, we were suddenly jarred awake; a c-section was imminent.

With this news came the realization and flood of emotions for next steps. Even before the doctors and nurses arrived, Shannon expressed in her fatigue a question of how much longer she would be able to continue with the drugs inducing painful contractions even with an epidural.

The doctors gave us some time to discuss ourselves and we decided to move forward with a c-section based on the doctor’s recommendation. The doctors then debriefed us on the risks associated with the surgery, especially with the amount of drugs used in an attempt to induce labor. Since Shannon had been receiving pitocin for nearly 52 hours straight, the risk of her bleeding out during surgery increased.

As reality set in, I had to be strong for my wife – the only problem was I didn’t feel strong, in fact my stomach was in a knot.

The nurses provided me the surgery cover ups that I needed to wear, they then allowed for a couple minutes for my wife and I to prepare for surgery. I was very proud of Shannon, we posed for a picture and then the nurses and I wheeled her down the hallway.

Before we got to the operating room the nurse explained to me that I would need to wait in a separate room until the surgery was ready to begin. It was clearly described to me that if I passed out during the surgery that I would be taken to the emergency room and could miss the birth of our son. This was challenging for me, as I’m not a huge fan of blood, etc.

As I stood alone in the room adjacent to the OR, I stared out into the snowy night sky, praying for God’s strength. I was weak and tired and just wanted my family to be safe.

Standing there felt like an eternity.

Dear Baby, This is Your Story {Told by Daddy}

Hey guys, Shannon here.  I am so excited to share with you what has been a long time coming, Behr's birth story told by a first hand eye witness, Mark, my much hyped about guest blogger!  I am officially turning over the reigns of my blog.  Hope you all enjoy!

A Father’s account…

This is an account of Behr’s birth story through his dad’s (my) eyes. God has blessed us with such an incredible son and it is absolutely amazing how quickly/instantly a father loves his son. For me there was no warming up point, trying to find a connection, my love for Behr is indescribable as it flooded in directly to this new father’s heart. Since Behr’s birth I have learned so much more about my love for my wife and family as well as my own parent’s love for me and Christ’s love for us all.

To my wife Shannon, thank you for this incredible gift of a son. I love you.

To my son Behr, I praise God for your safe delivery, your smiles and attentive look. I pray for God’s blessings on you as you grow into a strong, brave young man pursuing God’s heart.

To my parents and brother, thank you for your endless love and support.

Before the birth story starts it is best to set the stage and put into context the dates leading up to Behr’s birth:

01.03.2011 - Behr's due date. Given that this pregnancy was my wife’s first we did not know what to expect. Would our son arrive early/on time/late? 

01.09.2011 - Once we passed Behr’s due date, the doctors wanted to schedule an induction out of concern for the safety of mom and baby. 

01.15.2011 - I depart on a flight to Sao Paulo, Brazil for a mandatory trip for my international residency for my graduate studies at Johns Hopkins University. 

How would this all play our?  Well, Behr, this is your story…

Sunday January 9th:

As we sat at home watching Sunday football and eating a freshly delivered pizza, it was hard to imagine that in a few hours we would be checking into the hospital to begin an induced labor process. Wasn’t the story supposed to go as follows – husband is in a meeting at the office and gets a phone call from wife “water broke; hurry it is time for the hospital”? 

After reading the book “The New Dad’s Survival Guide: Man-to-Man Advice for First-Time Father” (Thanks Dague family for the gift), I practiced to make sure I knew how to “Be Cool Fool” BCF as the author humorously preps us new dads.  However with all my planning on what to expect – i.e. how to (hopefully) calmly navigate “the panic stricken – water broken/rush to the hospital scenario” this was not to be our birth story at least for our first born.

So as the story goes, our bags were packed, the Eagles playoff game was on, and with only a couple of slices of pizza consumed, half time arrived for the game, said a prayer (no not for the Eagles but for Shannon and Behr) and it was time to drive to the hospital – going the speed limit.

As we left the apartment we could hardly imagine that the next time we walked through these doors would be with our boy. The drive was as relaxing as it could be as we shared our excitement on how incredible it will be to hold our son for the first time.


As I recall I even boldly predicted that we would meet our son in a day...
...definitely two days max.

We were full of wonder and curiosity as well as held each other’s hand in the car ride. Pulling up to the hospital we knew where to park – I did my practice runs, but in our case there was no need to race up to the hospital entrance and grab a wheelchair. We simply grabbed our bags from the trunk, checked in at the main entrance and preceded up to labor and delivery. Once we arrived in delivery I quickly scoped out the room and located the tv, knowing that Shannon really wanted an update for the Eagles’ game. As nurses began to introduce themselves and take Shannon’s vitals they became concerned with Shannon’s higher than normal heart rate – little did they know it was because the Eagles were in a tight game down in the 4th quarter.

due to her iv, shannon was constrained to her bed, far away from the tiny old school tv

We assured the hospital staff that Shannon was a big fan and that her heart rate would return to resting levels once the game was over. Unfortunately the Eagles lost, ending their season early, but Shannon’s vitals returned to normal levels.

As the evening progressed we were briefed on the possible timeline of what to expect starting in the morning and the staff encouraged us to get as much rest as possible tonight.

Monday January 10th:

Incredibly, we were able to get some sleep.  With the morning came the excitement and busyness to continue along the induction process.  At this point Shannon is having regular contractions about 6 minutes apart.

Side note: it is obvious to say that us dads have the easiest part of the child birth experience. One of the ironic challenges for us dads is attempting to sleep on those oddly designed pull out chairs. Does the designer of these chairs actually think these are comfortable? Or perhaps uncomfortable is the point of the design of the chair since the husband has the easier part of the delivery? Possibly the designer thought, “why not make something uncomfortable for them”? Not complaining here, but just thought I’d share this observation which will make more sense later in the story.

Back to the story, the day consisted of wonder and awe in trying to anticipate what to expect as doctors and nurses monitored Shannon’s and the baby’s status. It was a lot of fun to hear our son’s heart beat. Shannon was resilient in tolerating the initial pain associated with the drugs, first cervidil and now pitocin, to induce the labor process. With trips back and forth to get ice, water, and juice the day involved stories, laughter and disbelief that the Eagles lost the night before. Even one of the nurses was an Eagles fan and could relate. All the while, Shannon's contractions continued to be regular at 6 minute intervals.

Towards the end of the day, it was confirmed that the induction progress was not advancing as quickly as the nurses and doctors hoped for.  Since Shannon had gone nearly 24 hours of contractions and no food, the doctors decided to give her a break to regain her energy.  I helped her shower up, get a bite to eat, and rest before the doctors continued the induction process.

Another side note: my meals consisted of visiting the hospital’s cafeteria, which believe it or not is pretty good. Well – it has to be as it is also used by some of the Georgetown students, etc. Can you believe there is a pub as well as a hibachi grill and sushi place attached to the cafeteria? Folks, this is Georgetown after all…only the finest.

After picking up our gourmet dinner from the cafeteria, we played a couple cards game and watch the movie The Blind Side. As the doctors and nursing staff rotated through we began to see the same staff from the night before. The responses we would get is, “Wait – you guys are still here?” and “Impressive Shannon you are tough!” We’d chuckle and respond with “Did you miss us?”, but at the same time, we longed for the labor process to pick up.  We wanted to meet our son.

With the evening winding down we prayed for the safety of Shannon and the baby and for things to pick up tomorrow.

{Read the Birth Story Intro Here}

Dear Baby, This is Your Story

Dear Behr,

As December rolled around your January 3 due date seemed closer than ever yet still endlessly far away. I wanted to meet you and stay pregnant longer. My feelings were certainly mixed. The pregnancy had gone smoothly, and I was enjoying being pregnant. Having you so close, effortlessly joining me everywhere was a wonderful experience. You kicked all the time and I truly loved it. I was blessed to have a relatively easy pregnancy, especially once we got past the first trimester. So I was not in a rush to have you physically separated from me. And yet I was convinced I would deliver early.

Your Yia-Yia, my Mom, gave birth well past her due date with all four of her children. I was going to be different. Your Dad and I decided to forgo visiting family for Christmas and stay close to home despite the doctors assurance that there were no signs of early labor. Call it mother's instinct or excitement, but I had a feeling that you were going to be early. I was so convinced, I told just about everyone we knew to stay by their phones and get ready to meet you.

Christmas and then New Years both came and went. As each day passed, I searched for early signs of labor. Not a single one. And yet, it felt like you had not only dropped but were continuing on your early dissent. On your due date, January 3, I wrote to you about how the day seemed just like any other. On January 5 I went to the doctor where again, we were told there were no signs of your arrival. The next day, January 6, I walked seven miles in an effort to encourage you along.

Your arrival was beginning to be quite prolonged, and I had no idea what was yet to come. But before I share the rest of this story, I want you to know, it was all worth it. Every moment of pain and discomfort that brought me closer to meeting you was absolutely worth going through.

You were worth it.
You still are today.
And you always will be.

This is your story.

Love,
momma