Weekend Funnies: DETHIE

Do you have friends that just click? For Mark and I, one case is our friends Faith and Kyle. (I have blogged about them before here, here, and here and probably a few other times too!) Faith and I grew up together, so we are especially lucky that we both like each others husbands, and that they like each other too. But we more than like Faith and Kyle...we love them like family. They are who we call when we have parenting questions, who we discuss family finance ideas with, friends that we can hang out with unshowered and in gym clothes and not worry in the slightest. They also have three kids who give Behr a run for his money. And above all that, boy, oh man, do they make us laugh. A couple times a month, you can catch Mark and I in bed reading each other Faith and Kyle's facebook wall posts from our iPhones. Here are a few examples for you:

But it is Kyle's most recent string of facebook posts that have me in hysterics, so much so I asked if I could share them with all of you! (in case you are wondering about the tree picture Kyle is 6'3" and standing on their coffee table)

Things Kyle learned while taking care of the kids all week (later renamed using the acronym DETHIE) 

#1: You will learn songs you otherwise wish you hadn't, "Red light, red light, put your hands....on the red light."

Thing I learned while taking care of the kids all week #2: when you finally decide to get around to doing something you will inevitably find that you will be incapable of doing it (eg, the post office is out of Christmas stamps and you're forced to buy Pixar cartoon stamps, Happy Incredibles, everybody).

Thing I learned while taking care of the kids all week #3: it takes forever to type "Thing I learned while taking care of the kids all week". Therefore, I'm now calling it DETHIE, short for "Don't ever tell her it's easy."

DETHIE #4: your youngest will never fall asleep at the right time. It will always be right before you enter a construction site, a car wash, a preschool full of screaming children, a 5 minute car ride, 10 mins before you have to put him in a car seat right before a 5 min car ride, 5 mins after an hour and 55 min car ride, or never.

DETHIE #5: you will be forced to back into the house several times to get something you've forgotten after you've already gotten the kids in the car (eg, a bottle, a blanket, Deacon's hat, a snack for Noah, a snack for Grace, a snack for you as you forgot to eat, formula for the bottle you already got, breast pumps -oh wait, you don't need those, this is just the first time you wish you did-, Noah because you thought he was in the car but he's not because he went back inside to get something, the thing Noah forgot to get because four year olds can't find things, a caffeinated beverage because "Lord knows I need it", silence for just a second, the car keys.

DETHIE #6: You will ponder what magic trick your child is about to do as you button 45 buttons on their "straight-jacket" style clothing.

DETHIE #8: you learn to NEVER swim 2.4 miles the week you are home with three under-fives to take care of. No amount of food or sleep will help you recover.

DETHIE #8: Some days will be filled with poop. Poop in the diaper, poop on the clothes, poop on the socks that Deacon kicked into his diaper as you were changing him, poop on the carpet, poop on the wall, poop to wipe off your older ones, poop you've got to go too. And then you realize after so much exposure: poop is a palindrome.

DETHIE #9/10: In your daily distractions you will inevitably duplicate a DETHIE's numerical status.

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