::All About Marriage:: Long Ride Home

I am so excited to be having Candis guest post on marriage.  This lady has class.  She is a beautiful wife and momma and exudes wisdom.  I am honored to be able to call her a friend. This post has already taught me so much.  I am thrilled to be able to share it with you and I celebrate my fifth wedding anniversary today!  Thanks Candis.

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Hi, I'm Candis. I've been around these parts before right after the handsome Behr was born. Since then I gave birth to a little guy myself. His name is Westley and he is my heart. I have a blog called lady lee in process and I am very much in process. Always. I am here writing about marriage as requested by the lovely Shannon. I hope you enjoy.

A photo taken of my husband and I just moments before he asked me to marry him.

photo credit: http://www.keelsphotography.com/

There is a song by Patty Griffin that has the ability to make me cry almost every time I hear it.

It's called Long Ride Home and it is beautiful.

There is a lyric in this song that has changed the way that I approach life and specifically my marriage.


Forty years go by with someone laying in your bed
Forty years of things you say you wish you'd never said
How hard would it have been to say some kinder words instead
I wonder as I stare up at the sky turning red

I am only 3 and a half years into lifelong marriage to my husband, but I think you can learn a lot in three years. 

Especially if you listen to Patty Griffin.  


So here is my short list of tips from a rookie on how to have a happy marriage. 

1. GRACE: When the going gets tough and things get heated, stop. Take a breath. Think of your husband as a child. As a baby. It helps you to extend grace. It helps you see that we are all just people wanting to be understood and wanted and loved. All people that just need a little grace.


2. LAUGHTER: I heard this from several other seasoned married people before getting married and didn't really get it until I was married. You just have to laugh. Play. Be silly. Quickly you become grown-up people doing grown-up things together and it can become stressful and sometimes mundane. Let your marriage be a place that you know it's okay to let go once in awhile and act like a kid again. Diffuse tense moments with childlike goofiness. Give in to not taking life so seriously all the time. It's a relief. It will bond you together.


3. PRAYER: Here is an amazing statistic: Couples that pray together have a divorce rate of less than 1%. I feel like if I didn't believe in prayer or God or Jesus, that statistic alone would be enough for me to take pause and seek. 


4. KINDNESS: It can be so easy to be kind to strangers, co-workers, friends. And then we get home and are sullen or rude to the very person we love most in this world. The lyrics I shared above go deep for me. I don't want to be forty years into life with my love and be thinking, "how hard would it have been to say some kinder words instead?" The answer is, not that hard. It's not hard to choose kindness. Stop making excuses and just be kind. Choose words that give life and uplift. 

As I give all this advice, know that I take it for myself as well. 


Do you have any to add to the list? What has worked for you?

::All About Marriage:: A Blog Series

108 months ago I was a college freshman who didn't want to date

107 months ago I met an awesome boy, but didn't want to date

101 months ago I agreed to date said boy and learned how to be outside of a comfort zone

69 months ago he proposed

60 months ago I became his wife

48 months ago we moved to DC and learned what marriage was like outside of a comfort zone

18 months ago we celebrated being pregnant {and started counting time in months!}

8 months ago we became parents and continue to learn what marriage is like outside of a comfort zone

Marriage is gloriously wonderful and uncomfortable and secure and to be cherished.  On Friday we get to celebrate 5 years of marriage and 9 years of love. 

I am overwhelmed at how each day it is possible to love someone more. 

More. 

After 9 years, how is there possibly more love to give?

There is.

Marriage is beautiful and sacred.

I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.

Mark and I both work hard at our marriage.
It takes prayer and patience and a whole lot of grace.

It is hard work.

And worth every ounce of sweat.

But it takes time.

One of the gifts I am giving Mark this year is time. I am committing to a no computer zone when I get home from work.  A commitment that will give us time as a family and as a couple to love on and serve each other better.  So for the next two weeks you will be hearing from some of my favorites in a mini blog series all about marriage.  You will be reading about their love stories, how they make it work, tips they have for success and more. I hope you enjoy their words. I know Mark and I will be enjoying the time. 

Thanks for helping Mark and I celebrate 5 years of marriage!



Traveling with a Baby

We have traveled a lot with Behr in 8 short months.

a 12 hour road trip to south carolina

an 8 hour road trip to connecticut

too many 2-4 hour road trips to count

round trip flights to florida and louisiana

a 4 hour airport delay

visiting at least 10 states

next month hold 2 more round trip flights and at least 2 new states

Is it easy to travel with a baby?  I firmly believe it is all what you make of it.  Here are a few things we have learned:

Car Seat: Bring your carseat but check it with the luggage. Checking it at the gate means one more thing you have to struggle with all day. We have done each once, and I now will exclusively check the car seat before security.

Security:  Forget the advice to wear your baby through security. Most airports make you take the baby out anyway. But I would suggest having your carrier of choice in your carry on luggage.

Stroller: Bring your stroller to the gate, but make sure to take everything out of the nooks and crannies, if there is stuff still in your stroller pockets, it slows down the security process, annoying you and the baby.  If your stroller folds easily, I would recommend brining your stroller of choice, not a lesser substitute.  You will be grateful in the airport and at your final destination, since strollers can be your lifeblood for activity with a baby.


Plane Seat: Window seats are easiest for us, but it is likely a personal preference. If the flight isn't full, you can get strategic: When flying solo, I plop down in the center and put Behr in the window seat while people board. When traveling with someone, we split the window/aisle with Behr between us. Having Behr spread out on a seat while people board typically deterrs folks from joining us, without actually paying for his seat.

Time of Day: The only advice for time of day, is leave your self plenty of buffer to get out the door and to the airport. No need to make yourself rushed because of a tight schedule. We have flown at all times of the day and nothing seemed particularly easier.  Remember to plan your nursing schedule around your estimated take off.

Milk and Bottles and Pump Oh, My! This is easily the issue I fretted over the most our first trip, which was for work, so I needed...everything!  I have flown with and without bottles, I think it depends on your needs at the time.  I try my hardest to not bring my pump when we fly.  It is too important for me to add it to checked luggage, and carrying it on takes up vital space.

Food: We always plan to feed Behr food as soon as we get to the gate and nurse during take off.  Here are a few keys that have helped us conquer food:

1. When traveling we scratch the homemade approach and get Plum or Happy Baby and serve it with the boon spoon attachment - screws right on the top of the food container. Minimal waste, optimal ease! {see gear guide below}
2. We bring a sippy cup for in between times, but mostly because Behr loves his, even though he hasn't actually figured out how it works!
3. Don't nurse too soon!!! On our first flight, Behr latched on as soon as everyone took their seats, and he was finished before we pulled away from the gate. I now wait until we literally are speeding down the runway, because the hardest part on the little ears is the altitude change.
4. If air pressure seems to be bothering baby, massage behind the ears - in the soft spot behind the earlobe between the jawbone and the neck. A father of three gave me this tip when Behr was SCREAMING on a very bouncy trip that involved several mid-flight altitude changes. 

Pack Light:  I was at a loss the first few trips.  Here is the list that I have perfected to work best for our family in our single carry on bag:  {note: bag must be easy to carry and put on/under the stroller}

3 toys - a board book, Sophie and something that attached to the stroller with links

5 diapers and a few wipes in a ziplock bag

1 muslin blanket - this doubles as a nursing cover - bonus!

4 pacifiers - they are small and drop easily and my life depends on them

1 burp cloth

1 change of clothes for baby

 + stuff for the grown ups: 

electronics and chargers, water bottle for mom

change of at least shirt for all adults

Behr has managed to throw up on both Mark and me in a single trip before!

And here are my three favorite items for every day mobility with a tot:

chair

spoon

placemat

Sunday Family Time

Sunday was a sweet day of family time and memory making.  We kicked off our morning with a bike ride around the monuments.  Behr rode in style, rocking his pajamas.

As we circled the White House, we had to detour due to an important arrival or departure.

 It is okay, we just circled around the front.  

I was pumped to get a largely unobstructed view.

Typically there are too many tourists.  

We made the outing even more exciting with a stop by starbucks for coffee and a bento box so we all could have a bite to eat.  Behr was thrilled to get his apple wedge.

Just after we returned home, my Mom and Uncle Bobby arrived.  They came into town to visit their sister, and have lunch with us.  Here is my mom, proud Yia-yia with Behr in Barracks Row.  

We went to The Chesapeake Room, my new favorite place to bring visitors.  I got the crab cake and fried green tomato stack with a poached egg on top.  Three of my favorite foods all in one bite!

Please come visit, it would be the perfect excuse to go back.

 After lunch, we went to Arlington to visit Grandmom, Pop-pop, and Aunt Mary.

Grandmom and Pop-pop share a plot, 40-61, and a headstone. 

Her inscription (left) is on the back of his.

This was my first time seeing the stone since it was not in place for either burial.

And from their grave site (left) just beyond the willow tree, is Aunt Mary's.  

After Arlington, we continued to spend time together as a family, walking to and from church, and enjoying a quiet Sunday dinner.  

I am so very thankful for family.

And while I still am having trouble expressing my emotions, dealing with grief, and making sense of my purpose, I am finding contentment.  This lyric has been on repeat in my head for the past few months:

"...it is well, it is well with my soul..."

Saturday Shoes: More Toms

Remember when I really wanted red toms?  Well, I still do.  However, one of the benefits of a year long shoes fast is you really think about things before making a purchase.  And now...now that I have had 6 months to think about it, I am torn.  What about chocolate toms?

What'cha think?

Red

or Chocolate

or Both?

Five Favorites

tiny pouches found on oh, joy.  originally I fell in love with these featured on oh, joy {by rennes} but joy has done it again with the beauties features above.  can a girl have too many tiny pouches?  sadly, the answer is probably yes.  I might have to go on a bag fast for 2012 once my shoe fast is over.

on to baby is featuring my new favorite nursery, oh and the newborn pics are adorable too!

and an alphabet video, because it is rainy, so why not waste time watching clever videos?

dina, of honey + fitz has provided a fabulous how to for customizing your bugaboo canopy.  lady lee, I am looking at you, hint hint.  it makes me want to go buy a bugaboo, and a sewing machine!  rainy day shopping fever? likely.

fall photo sessions seen here and here are making me want to grab some plaid and book a nine month photo shoot for Behr.  he would be cute in plaid, no?  some beautiful fall leaves would also be nice.  hmmm...Mark, I hope you are reading this blog post and agreeing...

oh,

and because a few things have been bugging me recently,

here is what I don't want to see on the interwebs anymore:

wasabi tape, whatever you are, I am over you

christmas decoration ideas

you are okay on pinterest, but it is too early to make appearances in blog posts

wow, I thought more things must be bugging me, but now I am at a loss.

happy friday.

How We Parent Our Little Man

The baby industry offers an abundance of information.  There are books and blogs, magazines and medical journals, and then every person you come in contact with has advice or opions for raising your children.

We were fortunate not to become innundated or overwhelemed.  There are a few books that we skimmed.  Trusted friends who we consulted. But all in all, at the end of the day, we trusted our gut.  At first, I was fearful of sharing the ways we weren't following the letter of the law, afraid of judgement.  Overtime, I have gained the confidence to stand firm on the decision we have made for our family.  So it is with this new found confidence that I share how we parent.

We attachment parent, but don't.

When Behr wants to sleep in our bed, he does.

But I am not always a snuggler.  I make no promises.

We are just as happy when Behr sleeps in his crib.

When I am cranky, Behr gets the cold shoulder, and I am okay with that. 

We do not let him cry it out.  It never worked.  Within a few minutes, Behr would be crying so hard he would stop breathing.

We rock Behr to sleep, and so does our daycare.  They are great.

I make Behr's food with organic produce from our farm share.

And we feed him store bought food for the convenience, because sometimes you need convenience.

I give him whole food often, like the apple slices above.  This worries many people, but Behr is a great eater and knows how to take small "bites."

Behr nurses.  Drinks bottles.  And occasionally has formula.  It is a mixed bag.

We started with cloth diapers.

And now we use disposables.  It makes more sense for our life right now.

We do not punish yet, because we cannot keep a straight face.

But we are teaching "gentle," because baby claws can hurt!

We encourage Behr with laughter when he spits and sprays his food.

This might come back to haunt us, but we are enjoying living in the moment.

We are not trying to teach Behr to crawl.  If he wants to, he will.

I am content with my little immobile baby, but encourage him to stand, because that makes him happy.

We do not have a schedule.

"They" say that scheduled help babies learn, adapt, and cope.  

Behr is doing just fine witha  flexible feeding schedule and bed time.

I am sure there are more things that we do and don't do.  Some habbits that might make you cringe.  But at the end of the day, we parent in a way that is best for our family.

What are some of the things that work for you and your family?

I am linking up to Small Style.  Behr's plaid shirt is from Carter's and I love how he looks like a Little Man!

Dear Baby, You Entered Our World {Part Four}

Thursday, January 13th:
Today ended up being the day of surgeries for Behr. First was his circumcision (and boy was that tough to send him off to) and second was his tongue tie.

When the doctor picked up our son for the circumcision, I said to Behr as he was getting wheeled away, “I’m praying for you”, the doctor then whit fully replied, “don’t just pray for him because he is going with me, pray for him every day!” 

You could hear Behr letting the doctors know what he thought of the surgery, I cringed and couldn’t wait to get him back in our arms. A few hours after the circumcision, came the need for the tongue tie surgery, this time the doctors needed me to hold him for the procedure.

As we entered the surgery room, Behr let out a yell. Can you blame him? The poor boy was just in there a few hours ago and I bet he remembered what happened earlier!

Before the doctors did the tongue procedure he wanted to get a couple pictures in which I ok’ed, after all this is a teaching hospital. However in order to get the pictures they needed Behr to open his mouth wide. Since Behr had calmed down from entering the OR, the doctors decided to unwrap his cozy burrito blanket wrap – well this definitely made him cry again. After a couple attempts of pictures the doctors were still trying to get a few more shots and then out of the blue I spoke up and said that’s enough.

Instantly the doctors listened and we wrapped Behr up to comfort him. It was a new realization of power for me in which the doctors responded with respect.

 For the procedure I had to hold Behr on my lap, keeping his head still. The doctors numbed the area and then basically snipped as needed. Although it was quick, holding my son felt like an eternity as I didn’t want to slip or move him and cause unnecessary harm to our boy. Needless to say we all continued to rest up although only an hour here and there.

Friday, January 14th:
In an effort to convince the doctors we were ready to go home, Shannon would hop out of bed and walk around every time she heard a familiar doctor's voice outside our door.  As Shannon rested up, paced the halls, she continued to regain her strength and energy in hopes that she could leave the hospital by tomorrow. But before that happened we shared in a day of more visitors, as well as, wait…I still need to pack for Brazil!

Karlene’s arrival today from Boston was instrumental in helping me get packed so that I could spend more time with Behr and Shannon. Oh and Karlene made sure that I ate food too. For some reason, when I was at the hospital I was only eating one or two meals a day, perhaps it was the stress of leaving town so quickly and wanting to maximize time with family or it was the unknown of what the next week entailed. Regardless, I was thankful that we had a friend like Karlene to spend time with Shannon right away.

Saturday, January 15th:
Time to go home, then CVS, then home, wait – now it is time to go to the airport… That was basically how quick my day flew by. Below are the following highlights that I will never forget about this day…
 - Leaving the hospital thinking, “wait they are really going to let us take a baby home”.
 - My new found defensive driving abilities with baby on board.
 - Bringing my family home for the first time.
 - Getting choked up walking down the hall leaving the apartment for my trip.
 - Thanking God for the gift of life and the safety of my wife and son.

Most significant for Shannon was probably leaving the hospital. As we pulled away from Georgetown, with a new bundle in the back seat of our car, turning to look at him every few seconds a song began to play on the radio.  This song by Sidewalk Prophets has become Shannon's song for Behr.

click play if you want to hear it

Reflection:


In the craziness that we felt at the time, we can’t help but be even more grateful of the service and sacrifice of our men and women in the armed forces. As hundreds of fathers are unable to be home for the birth of their babies, we can’t help but gain a more positive perspective of how thankful we were that I could be home for the birth of my son before having to travel. As difficult as it was to leave and as long as that following week felt, I can’t help but remember the joy it was to come home and see my family. May our prayers always be with the parents of these newborns who’s unselfish service for our freedom require for them to miss some of life’s greatest and emotional moments.

It has been a joy to write the birth story of our son for you, but mostly to capture the memory for my family.  Thanks for reading.  - Mark

Weekend Festivities

This little guy has been getting stronger, so we kicked off our weekend with child-proofing.  We lowered the crib mattress, losing prime storage real estate.  But safety is worth it right?

I stood in line outside of Anthro in Georgetown to see Grace of Design*Sponge!  She is just as charming in person as she seems on her blog.  The book looks fabulous.  Can't wait to sit down and look through it.  Ritzy Bee Events threw a great event and I met some fabulous DC bloggers.  For more pictures of the event, check out my calligraphy blog.

We gave Behr his first official lesson in pickin' crabs at Mike's Crab House, just outside of Annapolis.  One of Mark's college roommates was in town, so obviously crabs were on the agenda.

A bit about this picture of Behr: He is rocking his new smile, and I can't get enough of this silly wide mouth grin.  LOVE!  I might also be a bit obsessed about his Bruce Springsteen t-shirt from zulily.

We took advantage of the beautiful weather and met up with friends at the Maryland Wine Festival.  Behr was happy gnawing on an apple to soothe his gums.  He is cutting his first tooth, and handling it like a champ!

We plan to bike to work today.  

Wanna know how it goes?

I will give an update or two on twitter.

Oh, and before I forget, I am a complete idiot spaz klutz

Thursday I dropped and shattered my cookie jar lid, cutting the top of my left foot.

Saturday I pulled a rookie mistake and sliced my left thumb open with a crab claw.

Sunday night I accidentally burned the ba-jeezers out of my right pointer finger on the stovetop.

Excuse me while I go buy stock in BandAid.

Let's just hope my string of calamities doesn't extend to my bike commute with Behr!

Saturday Shoes: Best Booties

Words cannot describle how excited I got when I stumbled upon these gems.  The look absolutely heavenly.  And surely I would wear them with everything!  Super practical don't you think?  {note the thick sarcasm} Well, at least they are nice to look at.  Man, oh, man.  This shoe fast might is getting the best of me!

Bettye Muller Owen

...LOVE...LOVE...LOVE!

Food Wars: Mom Freak Out + Movies

Almost as fast as hit publish on my breastfeeding post, I had an crazy mom moment and freaked out about Behr's feeding routine.

I wrote this frantic email:

Ladies,

I don't know where to go with Behr's food and I have reached a point where I can't get a straight answer about what is next. I feel like I have created this black hole by being particular. Any advice/wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

I am having trouble pumping these days. I can sit for 45 minutes and get less than 2 ounces. Behr begins daycare at my work in 3 weeks, so I can breast feed him again during the day, but my freezer supply is gone and I can't make enough bottles for the next day. He is taking two 6 ounce bottles while I am gone. But when I am home he still eats every three hours, perhaps because I am not producing enough?

He will be 7 months on Friday. Do I start formula? If so what kind? I feel like formula is evil. Am I crazy? Can I introduce milk? Goats milk perhaps? If so, when?

Food: We started introducing it at 6 months and are trying omitting grains for the first year. Behr loves all of the food we have introduced. Info from our doctor was conflicting about when to introduce meat. What have you done? We are "making" our own food but largely skipping purees - trying to give him food as close to table consistency as possible. This includes: Mashed foods: (bananas, avocadoes, beets, sweet potato, carrots, green beans, plums) and sliced foods that he sucks/gnaws on (pear, cantaloupe, cucumber). What do I add next? Can I give Behr applesauce that isn't specifically made for baby? How did you introduce meat and when?

I am totally stressing out, and I am not quite sure why. I have been reading books and trying to find info on line, but nothing is very clear. I wish there was a step by step guide to follow. I like following rules.

Thanks in advance for your help.
Shannon

Bonus, Behr doesn't seem to be bothered one bit by my frantic obsession over the ba-jillion choices you have to make when feeding a baby.  He just loves eating:

I received a tremendous amount of helpful feedback.  Thank you dear friends!  After implementing many of the suggestions, I realized that you all might also freak out like me, or just maybe I can share some info before you reach that point.

pumping vs. formula vs. milk answers:

1. Milk, even goats milk needs to wait.  Most advice says 12 months, but dear Casey is among the many mommas who have assured me that 11 months is a-okay.  I will let you know when we get there!

2. Remember when Behr was born and Julie wrote a don't judge post?  Well, that is where I need to be in the formula camp.  I promise you, I am trying my best to produce milk for Behr, but sometimes he needs formula.  Right now we are using Wegman's Organic Formula, thanks to Julie's recommendations, and once again assurance that feeding Behr formal will not ruin him.  After all, I got fed formula at three weeks old, and look at how great I am!  just kidding  Seriously, though, huge thanks to Julie, Faith, Rebecca, and Liz for talking me off the edge of a cliff.


3. Check your pump parts! Duh. Mine were in good working order, but it never occurred to me.  Kate is pretty smart.

4. Kate also told me to pump in the morning.  This has been my lifesaver.  I pump every morning, and easily get 2-3 times as much as if I pumped at night.  Genius!

5. Friends also recommended hospital grade pumps.  If Behr hadn't moved into daycare in my building, where I can nurse throughout the day, it would have become a serious option.  I am convinced it is worth the cost for working moms.


For more on formula and little eaters in general, read what Lauren has to say here.  It is good stuff.

This post is getting "birth-story long" so I will stop and share food advice next week.  But here is one more video of Behr, for good measure.

there was water everywhere.

are you surprised?

Dear Baby, Your Story Continues {Part Three}

This is the story of Behr's Birth told through the eyes of his father.  Haven't caught the first half?  Read up!

Tuesday, January 11th (continued):


Standing and waiting there felt like an eternity, but eventually a nurse called me and said, “Mr. Schreiber its time.”

Entering the operating room was surreal as the doctors were gathered around my wife as she laid there on the table. The doctors and nurses were thoroughly preparing for surgery in an impressively coordinated rhythm. As I approached, I could see my little wife peering up at me. I smiled at her as I made sure she was ok and comfortable. As surgery began, my main focus was encouraging Shannon, keeping her comfortable and also talking enough so that she was focused on the sound of my voice and nothing else. We talked about vacations, traveling and other topics to keep ourselves distracted and before we knew it…

Wednesday, January 12th:

….little Behr was tugged out and the doctors briefly lifted him over the curtain so that we could see him for the first time. The doctors, then quickly took his vitals as our son vocalized his entrance into this world.

Can you blame him?

He was in a warm dark, fed on demand environment, and now he is in a bright, cold room with people wiping him down.

The nurses quickly brought Behr over to us and he continued to cry until the moment when the doctors placed him in my arms and I said “hello.” He must have recognized my voice, because he looked up and calmed down instantly.

Filled with utter joy, my eyes began to tear up. I turned to my wife and could not believe we were in this moment, celebrating the birth of our son.

As we sat there in the OR, the nurses helped to move Behr close to Shannon so that he could lay on her chest. Although exhausted from hours of labor and exhausting the moments leading up to surgery, the birth of our son re-energized us. While the doctors finished up the surgery we had an incredible time meeting our new born son.

Once surgery was complete, the nurses took us back to our labor and delivery room so that mom and son could bond immediately. We bonded and talked through basics and then I helped the nurse with our son’s first bath.

And by “helped” I basically watched in awe, as I could barely function with fatigue setting in.

When bath time was complete the nurse asked if I wanted to help put Behr’s onesie on, I took a try at it, but had to turn the reins over to the professional, as I needed to practice more. We finally got wheeled down to the recovery area around 4 am. By then all three of us were rather tired and we dozed off for a couple hours.

Waking up, I began a quick crash course in changing diapers and Shannon was coached on feeding methods. The staff at Georgetown was incredible as we even had doctors and nurses from Labor and Delivery stop by to say congrats. Someone even said, “Congrats this means you can stay until Sunday…” referring to the fact the Behr was born in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, not late on Tuesday evening.

We turned to each other mutually agreeing that we were not too excited about the thought of staying until Sunday. Shannon was ready to get out of the hospital and I looked forward to brining my family home before leaving for Brazil.

Overall the day was a blur, I made phone calls, we sent emails and then Behr got to meet all four of his grandparents as well as Uncle Ben. It was absolutely incredible stuffing our family into the small hospital room as we each were glowing with joy. When the visiting ended we rested up and quickly learned to nap when our less than 24 hour old son rested.

we also gave Behr his first lacrosse stick before he was 24 hours old!
text book hand positioning,
he is a natural.

Remembering

A considerable portion of my days are spent trying to remember.  I work to remember things that are trivial, like my many to do lists, phone messages to pass on, best routes to work.  And then I work to remember more important things, because people matter.  We have 180 interns live in our building each year, we are going on year three!  Approximately 200 interns participate in the program I have helped coordinate at work since 2008.  There are lots of things I spend time remembering.  Recipes, cleaning tips, and bits of html for blogging.

And then there is Behr.  He is officially eight months old today.  Eight months!  Do you realize that it has flown by?  If it has seemed fast for you, I promise it has been even faster for me.  I tried capturing daily moments, and weekly pictures, and lots of video.  But inevitably life takes over {have you read about my identity crisis?} and living in the moment becomes more important.

I am not going to be taking weekly photos any more. I wish someone told me to only take monthly photos...  Although it is disappointing, it is probably better for Behr in the long run to have a mom who is present.

And then there are things that I don't want to remember and never want to forget.

I turned off most social media for the weekend and spent time solemnly watching memorial services, often crying, but spending most of my time in prayer for families.  Deciding what to write has been difficult.  In a way, it feels like I don't have a right to speak about this, because my story doesn't include personal loss and suffering.  Those stories are far more important to be heard.

My friend Carrie captured my thoughts best a few years ago.  I don't know how to continue to wrestle with this, but I don't want to stop.  No matter how much time passes, some things are still so hard to hear:

that people where told to stay where they were, not to evacuate

the persistent chirp from firefighter's emergency whistles

every story about a child who lost a parent

and so much more

Each year a simple story comes to mind.  My friend Janet was in New York City that day, and as she ran away from the financial district, she noticed a sports shop piling pairs of shoes into the street, so that folks could be just a tiny bit more comfortable in the chaos.  There are a million small stories of similar outpourings of kindness.  I am grateful for the ways people serve one another, and continue to be bonded over their common loss and sacrifice.  

Remembering in an incredible thing...

Saturday Shoes: Penny Loafer Upgrade

It is officially cooling down here on the East Coast.  The dreary rain has me thinking fall and what better way to get geared up than to dream about shoes I cannot purchase?  Oh, there are probably a thousand better things to do with my time, but this is still pretty fun.  

Retro Glam by Naughty Monkey

I love the details of this shoe,

I just don't think I could pull it off,

especially in my stodgy government office

All in all, this shoe is a little "punk" for me

Nena by Marc by Marc Jacobs

Swoon

If I could be in love with a shoe, this would be it.

The detailing is perfect. The heel adds chunk, the gold plate keeps it classy.

They could fly in the work place, but sadly will never pass my non-existant shoe budget.

At $295, I just cannot justify these, even if I was buying shoes.

Don't mine me, I will go cry in a corner and lust over these from afar.

AK Anne Klein Walnut

And then there are these.  Sleek, simple, understated.

They would certainly be the most versitile.  But perhaps too boring?

Choices, choices! 

The good news is, the shoe fast continues, so it isn't my choice to have to make!

What shoes are you most looking forward to getting on your feet this fall?

Some Favorites

I wanted to share some family portraits from our Florida vacation. The fabulous Pam Bell based out of Amelia Island took our photos and was wonderful to work with.

As I was trying to figure out how and when to share these photos, I realized that I have once again been hoarding links to favorites of the interwebs.  What better than a post featuring both?

 FIVE FAVORITES OF THE WEEK:

 adorable rubber stamp kits

    the perfect appetizer for my greek heart (oh yeah, I am greek.  did I forget to mention that?)

    if we lived in a bigger home, I would collect rugs. my latest rug obsession

    this etsy shop redefines whimsy

    a twist on tomboy style, my favorite look of all

What do you think?

Should linking to favorites become a more regular feature on The Scribble Pad?

First Day of School

Oh my, already?  That is what I asked myself on Monday morning as I sat Behr down for pictures.  I hadn't really thought about a "first day" outfit.  This is after all, only day care, not pre-school or kindergarten.  But given that his first day of school day care fell on the monumental Tuesday after Labor Day, it was fitting to document the occasion.

i love when he makes this super engaged happy face!
wish his hand wasn't waving, but that is excitement for ya!

he totally poses for the camera.  what have I created?

I am linking up to Small Style:

Polo Shirt: Koala Kids

Jeans: Cater's Baby
These are magic jeans.  they have lasted for.ev.er!  Behr is the 6th child in our church to have worn them along with other hand-me-downs.  But that is a story for another post.
Socks: Trumpette - on sale today at Zulily!

Dear Baby, This is Your Story

Hey guys, Shannon here.  Letting you know that Mark is about to continue telling the story of Behr's Birth.  Just in case you missed it, check out my intro here, and part one here. Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 11th:

My wife is wonder woman. Why you ask? Because we have now been here since Sunday.  Do you realize that is now over 30 hours of contractions?  30 hours of labor and her body is just beginning to respond to the drugs.  Things are certainly happening, but at the same time they are not. Aren’t the drugs supposed to be speeding things up?

By this point, Shannon is having contractions ever six minutes, so doctors cannot increase the pitocin dosage.

As we consulted with the doctors and nurses they continued to keep us posted on the status of everything. With Tuesday here my pending trip to Brazil started to nag us in the back of our minds. We quickly squashed those concerns as we decided I would change my flight, etc if need be. With our focus on what was best for Shannon and baby, the doctors suggested breaking her water early afternoon. This meant upping the potential timeline and encouraging Shannon’s body to take over the labor process.

Even with a short break from the drug induced labor contractions last night, Shannon continued to endure and persevere. We continued to past time with playing card games, etc. Doctors and nurses continue to change shifts with amazement that we were still there. One of the most challenging parts mentally for us began to creep in as we were seeing and hearing other families in the labor and delivery wing come and go as their babies were born.

At 1:30, they broke Shannon's water. Things immediately began to pick up and become even more intense as far as labor pains, etc.

By 4:30 Shannon was three centimeters, only thee centimeters, and it had been 45 hours of contractions!

Around 5:30pm, Shannon was not getting enough of a break between contractions so she was on oxygen and shaking uncontrollably, causing her to throw up between contractions.  All the while, Shannon stood, leaning over the side of the bed to bear through contractions. It became evident that this baby was sunny side up, meaning back labor, with the baby's skull pressing against her spine causing more pain. Standing provided just enough relief in the pain's intensity, that she could continue to endure.

However, by 6:30pm, the pain was so concentrated that we requested an epidural for Shannon. I did all that I could as I prayed and tried to support my beautiful wife in her labor pains. For a husband, we can’t experience these pains, and if we could, I know we would trade places with our brides, take away the pain from them and endure it ourselves.

As I reflect in writing this now, I can’t help but imagine how great God’s love is for us to send his only Son to die on the cross for our sins, taking our place from the wrath that we deserve. And in order for Christ to conquer death he had to separate himself from God’s glory and receive our punishment. These moments of our life help us to better understand this absolutely beautiful act of love.

Outside the weather was cold and the forecast was snow. As the day progressed evening fell and the hospital staff kept us informed. It was obvious by now that Shannon was, and by all means understandably, getting tired. If we kept this up at this rate there might be some real activity taking place late tomorrow morning. As we got a glimpse of what tomorrow could hold, we knew we would need to get some rest.

Shannon was laying on her side, still on oxygen, while the nurses came in periodically to check on the baby's heart rate and rotate Shannon to get a better reading.

Around 10:00pm or so, as Shannon tried to sleep I decided to get a few hours of rest myself.

Literally as I turn the last light off, put my glasses down on the night stand and lay my head down, the doctors and nurses come in wanting to chat. As they monitored Shannon and baby, they were beginning to get concerned about how restful our son was getting during contractions. Behr's heart rate was resting for too long.  This meant he wasn’t actively engaging with labor, this could be a sign that he is too tired. Out of concern for the safety of mom and baby the doctors reluctantly advised for a c-section.  In spite of our exhaustion, we were suddenly jarred awake; a c-section was imminent.

With this news came the realization and flood of emotions for next steps. Even before the doctors and nurses arrived, Shannon expressed in her fatigue a question of how much longer she would be able to continue with the drugs inducing painful contractions even with an epidural.

The doctors gave us some time to discuss ourselves and we decided to move forward with a c-section based on the doctor’s recommendation. The doctors then debriefed us on the risks associated with the surgery, especially with the amount of drugs used in an attempt to induce labor. Since Shannon had been receiving pitocin for nearly 52 hours straight, the risk of her bleeding out during surgery increased.

As reality set in, I had to be strong for my wife – the only problem was I didn’t feel strong, in fact my stomach was in a knot.

The nurses provided me the surgery cover ups that I needed to wear, they then allowed for a couple minutes for my wife and I to prepare for surgery. I was very proud of Shannon, we posed for a picture and then the nurses and I wheeled her down the hallway.

Before we got to the operating room the nurse explained to me that I would need to wait in a separate room until the surgery was ready to begin. It was clearly described to me that if I passed out during the surgery that I would be taken to the emergency room and could miss the birth of our son. This was challenging for me, as I’m not a huge fan of blood, etc.

As I stood alone in the room adjacent to the OR, I stared out into the snowy night sky, praying for God’s strength. I was weak and tired and just wanted my family to be safe.

Standing there felt like an eternity.